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Updated: April 30, 2025
Sir Feeb. Christnings and Gossipings! why, they are the very Schools that debauch our Wives, as Dancing-Schools do our Daughters. Sir Cau. Ay, when the overjoy'd good Man invites 'em all against that time Twelve-month: Oh, he's a dear Man, cries one I must marry, cries another, here's a Man indeed my Husband God help him Sir Feeb. Sir Cau.
'Tis so, I'll go and commit the Theft, whilst you prepare to carry it, and then we'll to dinner with your Sister the Bride. SCENE III. The House of Sir Feeble. Enter Sir Feeble, Leticia, Sir Cautious, Bearjest, Diana, Noisey. Sir Feeble sings and salutes 'em. Sir Feeb. Bear. Methinks my Lady Bride is very melancholy. Sir Cau. Ay, ay, Women that are discreet, are always thus upon their Wedding-day.
I saw him once open a Lock with the Bone of a Breast of Mutton, and break an Iron Bar asunder with the Eye of a Needle. Sir Cau. Prodigious! well, I say the Devil still. Enter Sir Feeble. Sir Feeb. Who's this talks of the Devil? a Pox of the Devil, I say, this last night's Devil has so haunted me Sir Cau. Why, have you seen it since, Brother? Sir Feeb. In Imagination, Sir. Bel. How, Sir, a Devil?
But it's a Bargain? Gay. Done Sir Feeble shall be witness and there stands my Hat. Sir Cau. He that comes first to One and thirty wins L. Ful. What are you playing for? Sir Feeb. Nothing, nothing but a Trial of Skill between an old Man and a Young and your Ladyship is to be Judge. L. Ful. I shall be partial, Sir. Sir Cau. Gay. Cater Tray Pox of the Dice Sir Cau. Gay.
"You say NO again? YOU WON'T HAVE HER, you say? "Caudle Cau-Cau-dle Cau dle " "Here Mrs. Caudle," says her husband, "suddenly went into tears; and I went to sleep." "'Pon my word, Mr. Caudle, I think it a waste of time to come to bed at all now! The cocks will be crowing in a minute. Keeping people up till past twelve. Oh yes! you're thought a man of very fine feelings out of doors, I dare say!
"Well, it's over now," said her uncle, kindly, "and no doubt he'll soon find somebody else. There are plenty of girls would jump at him, I expect." Miss Garland shook her head. "He said he couldn't live without me," she remarked, soberly. Mr. Mott laughed. "In less than three months I expect he'll be congratulating himself," he said, cheerfully. "Why, I was nearly cau married, four times.
Hum adod, and that may be, for the young Knave when he let me in to Night, was drest up for some Waggery Sir Cau. Ha, ha, ha, 'twas even so, sure enough, Brother Sir Feeb. Ads bobs, but they frighted me at first basely but I'll home to Pupsey, there may be Roguery, as well as here Madam, I ask your Pardon, I see we're all mistaken. L. Ful. Ay, Sir Feeble, go home to your Wife.
Sir Cau. Sir Feeb. Sir Cau. Mad, stark mad no, now I'm up 'tis no matter pray ease your troubled Mind I am your Friend out with it what, was it acted? or but designed? Sir Feeb. How, Sir? Sir Cau. Be not asham'd, I'm under the same Premunire I doubt, little better than a but let that pass. Sir Feeb. Have you any Proof? Sir Cau. Proof of what, good Sir? Sir Feeb.
Nay, and she be thereabouts, there's no discovering. L. Ful. But leave this fond discourse, and, if you must, Let us to Bed. Sir Cau. Ay, ay, I did but try your Virtue, mun dost think I was in earnest? Enter Servant. Serv. Sir, here's a Chest directed to your Worship. Sir Cau.
At this late hour, and on his Wedding-Night why, what's the matter, Sir is it Peace or War with you? Sir Feeb. A Mistake, a Mistake, proceed to the business, good Brother, for time you know is precious. Sir Cau. Come, sit, good Brother, and to the business as you say Sir Feeb. As soon as you please, Sir. Lord, how wildly he stares! He's much disturb'd in's mind Well, Sir, let us be brief Sir Cau.
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