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Updated: June 4, 2025
"What's this world but an ant-hill?" he asked. "Jist a big ant-hill an' we're ants begorra an' uncles, but instead ov workin' like these wee fellas do help aych other an' shouldther aych other's burdens, an' build up th' town, an' forage fur fodder, begobs we cut aych other's throats over th' color ov ribbon or th' kind ov a church we attind! Ugh, what balderdash!"
"But the best part," said Watts, who was lolling on one of the lounges, "was those 'sixt' ward presents. As Mr. Moriarty said; 'Begobs, it's hard it would be to find the equal av that tureen! He was right! Its equal for ugliness is inconceivable." "Yet the poor beggars spent eight hundred dollars on it" sighed Lispenard, wearily. "Relative to the subject " said Mr. Pierce.
In a few seconds the boy from Vermont was securely blindfolded. "Now you sing dot song," commanded Hans. "Whut shell I sing?" "'Yankee Doodle, begobs!" cried Barney. "It's patriotic songs Ould Gunn admoires." "I can't git the tune," said Ephraim, "an' I don't know the words of only jest one varse." "Well, sing pwhat yez know, an' kape repeating it over an' over till yez are told to stop."
"Then I can put the screws on him safely, you think?" "Yes," cried several. Peter rose. "Dennis, will you see Blunkers and Driscoll this evening, or some time to-morrow, and ask if they think so too? And if they don't, tell them to drop in on me, when they have leisure." "Begobs, sir, Oi'll see them inside av ten minutes. An' if they don't agree widus, shure, Oi'll make them." "Thank you.
It was that dirty spalpeen av a Podds." "Are you sure?" said Leonore, pleadingly. "You are not deceiving me?" "Begobs," said Dennis, "do yez think Oi could stand here wid a dry eye if he was dead?" Leonore put her head on Dennis's shoulder, and began to sob softly. For a moment Dennis looked aghast at the results of his speech, but suddenly his face changed.
Honest, I needed the dope myself for fair by that time, what with the lady bein' that way I'm 'a tellin' you, and Kelly, the crazy Irishman I could hear him off in one corner givin' his reg'ler stunt about his friend, O'Houlihan, lately landed and lookin' for work, comes to a sausage factory and goes up to the boss and says, 'Begobs! you know the old gag say, I run out in the snow and looked over to the crowd around the fire and thought of Prof. pokin' around in that dressin'-room for Kelly's other kid, when he might 'a jumped after he got the first one, and, say, this is no kid first thing I knew I begin to bawl like a baby.
"And you don't want to overlook Professor Gregory Carker, whose earthquake predictions must have been unheeded by the people of Frisco. Here he is, Winnie." "Greg Carker!" burst from Winnie, as she shook hands with the young socialist. "Why, Greg, you're as handsome as a poet! You remind me of pictures of Lord Byron." "Begobs, Ephie," whispered Mulloy, "we'll have to hold him and cut his hair!
As the hack rolled along toward East Rock the freshmen sang: "We belong to good old 'Umpty-eight, For she's a corker, sure as fate, sure as fate. We have met the sophomores, And they're feeling awful sore; So hurrah for good old 'Umpty-eight! 'Umpty-eight!" "Begobs! ye're th' quarest gang av softmores Oi iver saw!" cried the driver.
Begobs, b'ys, it's proud av him we should be this day. Didn't he swear strong an' fine like? Howly hivens! it's a delight to hear damn said like that." For some reason that "swear-word" pleased New York and the country generally, showing that even an oath has its purpose in this world, so long as it is properly used. Dean Swift said a lie "was too good to be lavished about." So it is of profanity.
It's doing something we know he wouldn't countenance." "I guess that's what made me feel so rotten mean abaout it." "How much did yez bet wid him? Did yez put up a hundrid?" "More'n that." "Two hundrid?" "More'n that." "Begobs, ye did plunge, my bhoy! Well, it won't break yez av we should happen to lose." "I dunno abaout that," half groaned Gallup. Barney looked puzzled and somewhat excited.
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