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Updated: June 5, 2025
My best efforts to comfort Jean in this matter were quite futile. Like a child who has been unjustly punished he was inconsolable. Great tears welled in his eyes. He kept repeating "sees-tee franc planton voleur," and absolutely like a child who in anguish calls itself by the name which has been given itself by grown-ups "steel Jean munee."
B., Fritz, Harree, Pompom, Monsieur Auguste, The Bear, and the last but not least Count de Bragard immediately informed the trembling planton that I was a Nouveau who had just returned from the douches to which I had been escorted by Monsieur Reeshar, and that I should be admitted to the cour by all means.
The planton gave me another shove, faced the door, knocked twice, and cried in accents of profound respect: "Monsieur le Gestionnaire" after which he gazed at me with really supreme contempt, his neat pig-like face becoming almost circular. I said to myself: This Gestionnaire, whoever he is, must be a very terrible person, a frightful person, a person utterly without mercy.
"Ta gueule or I'll cut your throat," the planton replied amiably; and The Frog, after another look, obeyed. And lo, the beard squirmed gently upon the floor, alive with a rhythm of its own; squirmed and curled crisply as it lay.... When The Hat was utterly shorn, he was bathed and became comparatively unremarkable, save for the worn long coat which he clutched about him, shivering.
From within a heavy, stupid, pleasant voice lazily remarked: "Entrez." The planton threw the door open, stood stiffly on the threshold, and gave me the look which plantons give to eggs when plantons are a little hungry. Before me, seated at a table, was a very fat personage with a black skull cap perched upon its head.
Judas immediately protested to the planton who brought them up that there were no places, getting a roar in response and the door slammed in his face to boot. But the reader is not to imagine that it was the number alone of the arrivals which inspired fear and distrust their appearance was enough to shake anyone's sanity.
Clear and mellow her voice sounded in the night air. "Chasseur, chasseur, chassez encore, Quittez Rosette et Jeanneton, Tonton, tonton, tontaine, tonton, Ou, pour, rabattre, des l'aurore, Que les Amours soient de planton, Tonton, tontaine, tonton."
A planton, I was also told, made it his business, by keeping les femmes out of this corner of their cour at the point of the bayonet to deprive them of the sight of their admirers. In addition, it was dry bread or cabinot for any of either sex who were caught communicating with each other.
The planton did something to his gun very aimlessly and rapidly. "FIRE!" shrieked the sergeant, scarlet with rage and mortification. The planton, cool as steel, raised his gun. The bucket, in big merry sounding jumps, was approaching the window below us. The planton took aim, falling fearlessly on one knee, and closing both eyes.
The Surveillant called to the plantons to take Jean, but they wouldn't go near Jean, they said he was a black devil. The women kidded them. They were so sore. And they could do nothing. Jean was laughing. His shirt was almost off him. He asked the planton to come and take him, please. He asked the Surveillant, too. The women had set down their pails and were dancing up and down and yelling.
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