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Nor could they boast of the superiority derived from a liberal education. Many of them even including some of those who held high public offices were so illiterate that they were unable to write a simple business letter without committing errors of orthography of which any one but Artemus Ward or Jeames de la Pluche might well feel ashamed.
"But what wad come o' yersel' an' Aggie wi'oot, a place to lay yer heid? We're no to mak oorsel's a' sae ill aff as was the Maister; we maun lea' that to his wull. Ye wadna hae HER luik doon an' see ye in less comfort nor whan she was wi' ye!" "Thereanent, sir, I had a word o' proposal to mak," rejoined Jeames.
Lady Clavering next followed, but her ladyship was more mature of age and heavy of foot, and one of those feet, attired in a green satin boot, with some part of a stocking, which was very fine, whatever the ankle might be which it encircled, might be seen swaying on the carriage-step, as her ladyship leaned for support on the arm of the unbending Jeames, by the enraptured observer of female beauty who happened to be passing at the time of this imposing ceremonial.
"Wha was that?" asked his wife. "Ow! it was naebody but Jeames Johnston, wantin' a bit o' flannin for's wife's coatie." "And what had he to say 'at keepit ye till yer tay's no fit to drink?" "Ow! my tay'll do weel eneuch. It's nae by ordinar' cauld." "But what said he?" "Weel! hm! hm! He said it was fine frosty weather." "Ay, nae doobt! He kent that by the way the shuttle flew. Was that a'?"
I don't quarrel with you I take for granted your wit and learning, your modesty and benevolence but why scavenger Jupiter Jeames why scavenger? A gentleman, whose biography the Examiner was fond of quoting before it took its present serious and orthodox turn, was pursued by an outraged wife to the very last stage of his existence with an appeal almost as pathetic Ah, sir, why scavenger?
If his is an outdoor wooing, you will inevitably remember that I taught you to ride, to skate, to drive, and to play golf. If he should attack you musically, you will be surprised at the number of operas we've heard together and of duets we've sung together. And so, in the words of my friend, fellow-sufferer, and name-sake, Mr. Yellowplush, 'You'll still remember Jeames."
"O Evns! it vas the best of sights, Behind his Master's coach and pair, To see our Jeames in red plush tights, A driving hoff from Buckley Square. He vel became his hagwilletts, He cocked his at with SUCH a hair; His calves and viskers VAS such pets, That hall loved Jeames of Buckley Square. "He pleased the hup-stairs folks as vell, And o!
Further, to elicit the confidence of the vain and empty-headed Jeames, Bucket declares that his own father was successively a page, a footman, a butler, a steward, and an innkeeper. As Bucket moves along London streets, young men, with shining hats and sleek hair, evaporate at the monitory touch of his cane.
"I min' naething aboot it but jist that muckle," said his father. "And I can think o' naething but that bonny lassie lyin there afore me naither deid nor alive! I jist won'er, Jeames, that ye're no as concernt, and as fillt wi' doobt and even dreid anent it as I am mysel!" "We're all in the hands of the God who created life and death," returned James, in a pious tone. The father held his peace.
Another remark concerning poor Jeames of a hundred years ago: Jeames slept two in a bed, four in a room, and that room a cellar very likely, and he washed in a trough such as you would hardly see anywhere in London now out of the barracks of her Majesty's Foot Guards. If Maria hoped a present interview, her fond heart was disappointed.
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