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Updated: June 26, 2025
For truly, my mind had been so strained and racked that I don't know as it would have surprized me if Josiah Allen had riz up, and knocked me down. "Wall, in politics, you have to add a few orts sometimes." I sithed, not a wonderin' sithe, but a despairin' one; and he went on, "I know where I shall get a hull lot of votes, anyway." "Where?" says I.
Miss Meechim sithed deep and remarked to me "that the tariff laws wuz a absorbin' topic to her mind at that time." She did it to change the subject. We went to a Chinese crematory and the Temple of Longevity, where if you paid enough you could git a promise of long life.
And he leaned his forward on his hand and sithed. But my looks wuz like ice-suckles on the north side of a barn. And I stopped his complaints and his sithes by askin' in a voice that demanded a reply: "Can you and will you do Serepta's errents? Errents full of truth and justice and eternal right?"
She wanted you to drink nothin' stronger than root-beer when you had company to dinner, she offerin' to send you a receipt for it from Jonesville; and she wanted her rights, and she wanted 'em all this week without fail." He sithed hard. And never did I see a linement fall further than his linement fell. I pitied him. I see it wus a hard stent for him, to do it in the time she had sot.
They didn't act meachin', and tempt, and act indirect, I'll bet, or I wouldn't be afraid to bet, if I approved of bettin'." He sithed powerful, and sot round oneasy in his chair. And says he, "I thought wimmen was taught by the Bible to serve, and love their homes." "So they be. And every true woman loves to serve.
"Oh dear me!" I sithed, "why is it that the apron strings of Duty are so often made of black crape, but yet I must cling to 'em?" "Well," sez Josiah, "what clingin' I do will be to hum; I don't go dressed up agin for months, and hang round tarvens and deepos, and I couldn't leave the farm anyway." But his mean wuz wild and haggard; that man worships me.
"Life has been a burden to me ever sense that appeared in 'The Gimlet. Tongue can't tell the way them Jonesvillians has sneered and jeered at me, and run me down, and sot on me." I sithed, and remained a few moments almost lost in thought; and then says I, "Now, if you are more composed and gathered together, will you tell your companion how you come to write it? what you did it for?"
And I couldn't contend, for truly, as a bad little boy said once on a similar occasion, "it wuzn't my funeral," so I had to set and work on that insane bedquilt and see it go on. But I sithed constant and frequent, and when I wuz all alone in the room I indulged in a few low groans.
I groaned and sithed when he told me, and sez I, "What won't you do next, Josiah Allen?" But this wuz hereafter, and to pick up the thread of my story agin. Wall, Josiah wuzn't killed, he wuz only stunted, and he soon recovered his conscientousness. And before half a hour passed away he wuz a-talkin' as pert as you please, a-boastin' of how he would tell it in Jonesville.
It was his way, he said, to put 'em right through, and, when one wore out, get another one." I sithed; and says I, "I feel to lament that I wuzn't here so's he could have converted me." Says I, "A race of bein's, that make such laws as these, hadn't ort to be disturbed by wimmen meddlin' with 'em." "Yes: that is what he said," says Sally, in a innocent way. I didn't say no more. Good land!
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