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Updated: May 16, 2025
"You ain't too young to die, even ef you is too ole to learn. Only I trust an' prays dat you won't be blamin' nobody but yo'se'f 'bout this time day after to-mor' evenin' w'en de sexton of Mount Zion Cullud Cemetery starts pattin' you in de face wid a spade." "Unc' Bill, you said a moufful den," added Tallow Dick.
"Starbuck, any fool can be game I thought I know'd all about you, but I never know'd befo' that you was so cool." "Cool," Jasper repeated, "I ain't half as cool as you air keerless. I could kill you with that axe an' you couldn't help yo'se'f. That pistol won't shoot. Look! When you cocked it the cap fell off."
He hastened to do this to keep Pierre from taking it. Then, while he fanned her, he said, "Is dat so, Miss Lily, dat Mr. Pier is give you a buggy? Dat sholy is a fine Christmas gif' it sho' is. An' sence you fin' yo'se'f possessed of a buggy, I trust you will allow me de pleasure of presentin' you wid a horse to drive in de buggy."
Yo' freeze yo'se'f, Mahstah, an' of cose Ah appreciated th' infuhmities of a genaman, but Ah induced him to put on his coat an' his hat an' his boots, an' he sais, 'Ah am Cunnel Potts, an' Ah mus' have mah eight houahs sleep. Ah sais to him, 'If yo' is a Cunnel, yo' is a genaman, an' Ah shall escoht yo' to yo' hotel. Raght then a p'liceman offaseh come up, an' he sais, 'Yeh, yeh! what all this yeh row about? an' Ah sais, 'Nothin' 'tall, Mahstah p'liceman offaseh, Ah's jes' takin' Mahstah Cunnel Potts to his hotel, seh, with yo' kindness, an' he sais, 'Git him out a yeh an' go 'long with yo' then, so Ah led th' Cunnel off, seh.
'She liked 'im, an' I kin walk. 'Yes, sez ole marster, laughin', 'I s'pose you's already done giv' her yo'se'f, an' nex' thing I know you'll be givin' her this plantation and all my niggers.
"And you ought to be ashamed of yo'se'f, an' he a preacher at that preached the loveliest funeral sermon over old Aunt Polly Myer I ever heard in my life." For a time old Jasper was silent. His wife asked him what he intended to do. "Wall," said he, "believe I'll knock this critter in the head, skin him, take a hindquarter over to that preacher's house and make him eat it raw."
"Thank you 'specially as my eyes ain't right good this mornin'. Skuze us, Laz," she said, turning to go into the house. "Help yo'se'f," Laz replied, again wiping his jews-harp; and when the two women had gone into the house, he began to play, and the old man, sitting now upon the wood-pile, looking over his epitaph, nodded time. Suddenly the musician left off.
En who stuck you up dar whar you is? Nobody in de roun' worril. You des tuck en jam yo'se'f on dat Tar-Baby widout watin' fer enny invite," sez Brer Fox, sezee, "en dar you is, en dar you'll stay twel I fixes up a bresh-pile and fires her up, kaze I'm gwineter bobby-cue you dis day, sho," sez Brer Fox, sezee. Den Brer Rabbit talk mighty 'umble.
"Brer Rabbit wunk at hisse'f. He 'low, 'Heyo, house! why n't you talk hoarse like you got a bad col'? "Den Brer Wolf holler back, hoarse ez he kin, 'Heyo, yo'se'f! "Dis make Brer Rabbit laugh twel a little mo' en he'd a drapt off'n dat ar 'simmon stump en hurt hisse'f. "He 'low, 'Eh-eh, Brer Wolf! dat ain't nigh gwine ter do.
Soon's you'se down safe, I'll go out an' lock yo' door ag'in, slip down de sta'rs, an' Marse, when he fin's you'se skipped, will think you'se 'scaped by yo'se'f. But, anyways, I doan much keer ef he does fin' dat ole Dilsey holped you; I hain't feared. He woan dar' tackle me."
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