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Updated: June 17, 2025
She's tickled me considerabull sumtims only it was the wrong wa. Most human naturs git tickled the wrong wa sumtims. She was heviest onter me the fust yeer I ever owned a Umbrellar. I was going on 18 yeer old then, and praid for rane as bad as any dride-up farmer.
Every Sabbath day wee preach in the forenoone, and chatechize in the afternoone. Every Saturday at night I exercise in Sir Thomas Dales house. Our Church affaires bee consulted on by the minister, and foure of the most religious men. Once every moneth wee have a communion, and once a yeer a solemn fast."
Why, ye yeller-bellied fool, thet's my hat yeer stompin' on!" "Your hat!" echoed the trapper in a contemptuous tone. "Carrambo, senor! you should be ashamed of yourself. Any man who would wear a silk hat! Wagh!" "An' why ain't a silk hat as good's any other?"
Nay, don't deny it! A' see ye comin' out of Hennessy's the forenoon. An' ye've a wife an' six children, the shame on ye to treat a puir woman so! Another blunder like this an' ye'll lose yeer job." A further fault was discovered in a stiff feed-block, and here Tam grew bitter and personal. "Will ye do this, Hector Brodie McKay?
He was standing close by, holding in his hands a piece of lazo, which he appeared to examine with a strange and puzzled expression. He had recovered from his burst of wild joy and was "himself again." "What's the matter, Bob?" I inquired, noticing his bewildered look. "Why, Cap'n, I'm a sorter bamfoozled yeer. I kin understan' well enuf how the feller; irked yer inter the tree afore he let go.
It's dishear-rtening. A chap can't get up a recent foight out here. I'm going back to civilisation where they still bang each other about a bit in a friendly way, thank God! Where'd yeer father pick him up, Tressa?" "He didn't 'pick him up'," replied Tressa indignantly. The merry eyes of the engineer came round to her in a slow circle. "I'm always making mistakes like that.
"There were four of them, yeer honour a black one and two blue ones and a piebald one, with four legs and a bushy tail each with two horns on his head, for all the world like those on Father M'Cleary's red cow no, she was humbled it is Father Clannachan's I mane no, not his neither, for his was the parish bull; fait, I don't know what I mane, except that they had all horns on their heads, and vomited fire, and had each of them a tail at his stem, twisting and twining like a conger eel, with a blue light at the end on't."
Me legs are only that long, and I wasn't born on the seashore. Some day I'll stay up with me cab, I will, and then who'll brighten up yeer dull and unintheresting lives? How'd ye kape in touch with civilisation then, I'd ask ye?"
I was privileged to listen to one of the tallest of these one evening, after he had paid a visit of inspection to my garden and was smoking a pipe with me under my lime-tree. "Fowks tell queer tales 'bout 'lotments," he began, "but I reckon they're nobbut blether anent t' tale that I could tell o' what happened me last yeer." "What was that, Abe?" I asked.
I preserved the expression at the same time closing my eyes, as a negative answer to his query. Although I believed myself to be hit somewhere about the legs, I felt confident that I was not "crippled." "So fur good!" continued he, still speaking loudly and angrily. "Neow! slew yeer right elbow down a leetle, an' gi' me a better chance at thet eer strip o' hide.
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