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Updated: June 17, 2025
"A' mean the hair," replied Tam gravely, "not the hair that stands up when yeer petrol tank goes dry nor the hare yeer poachin' ancestors stole from the laird o' the manor, but the hair ye breathe when ye're no' smokin'. An' while A'm away in the morn A' want ye to go to Mr. Brandspeth's servant an' get ma new tunic.
Lookee yeer, old red gloves!" continued he in a louder voice, and raising his head above the rampart "this heer o' mine air vallable, do ee see? It air a rare colour, an' a putty colour. It 'ud look jest the thing on thet shield o' yourn; but 'tain't there yet, not by a long chalk; an' I kalklate ef ye want the skin o' my head, ye'll have to trot up an' take it."
"And dat's a lie, if ever dere was one," exclaimed Peter Mangrove, jumping from the berth. "Look at me, you Irish tief, and tell me if I have a blue light or a conger eel at my stem?" This was too much for poor Donnally. He yelled out, "You'll believe your own eyes now, yeer honour, when you see one o'dem bodily before you!
"I ain't seen a circus for years," said the corporal with a sigh. "Lord! I used to love them girls in short skirts " "Restrain yeer amorous thochts, Alec," warned Tam, "an' fix yeer mind on leeterature. To proceed: "'Can it be, says our hero, 'can it be that Mr. MacBissing is doin' his stunts at ten-thairty o' the clock in the cauld morn, for sheer love o' his seenister profession?
Roarings, then, 'as only got me to thank for the present 'appy state o' things. 'What do you mean? I asked, only half interested. 'Well, it's like this yeer, answered Elizabeth, 'I see from the very first that Mr. Roarings an' Miss Marryun were just suited to each other. The trouble was they didn't see it theirselves, an' so I 'elped to open their eyes like. 'Explain, I commanded.
A servant of the house ran out, and seeing the culprit, called out, "Very wee!, Maister Erskine, I'll tell yeer faither wha broke the windae!" On which the boy, to throw her off the scent, said to his brother loudly, "Eh, keist! she thinks we're the boddy Erskine's sons." The boddy Erskine! Who ever heard of such an irreverent nickname applied to that good and great man?
He pump water on ole Zip 'gainst him will glad when young mass' druv im way from de pump." "Ha! you were forced to it, then?" "Ye, mass', forced by da Yankee driber. Try make me do so odder time. I 'fuse punish Zip odder time dat's why you see dis yeer dam!" "You were flogged for refusing to punish Scipio?"
They stood in abject silence while he replenished his store of petrol and then "Up wi' ye," said he to Hector O'Brien's counterpart. "For why?" asked the affrighted man. "Up wi' ye," said Tam sternly; "climb into that seat and fix the belt around ye, quick A'm taking ye back to yeer home!" His pistol-point was very urgent and the little man scrambled up behind the pilot's seat.
It's a verra passable smoke an' no' dear at four-pence." "That cigar costs eight pounds a hundred," said Blackie, nettled. "Ye'll end yeer days in the puirhouse," said Tam. True to his promise he swept over Lille the next morning and to his amazement no particular resistance was offered.
Leisurely at the start, the pace of his stories quickened considerably as he warmed to his work, and it was not without reason that he had acquired a reputation of being the best story-teller on the long settle of the Ring o' Bells. "'Twere back-end o' t' yeer," he continued at last, "an' t' lads had gone into t' woods to gether hesel-nuts an' accorns.
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