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He's got an American uniform, tin derby and all, and he's up in the front trenches in the cold and mud with his chocolates and stuff, talking the lingo to the wops and putting heart into them something surprising. They're cheering up wherever he goes. Good work. "That afternoon I ran into the man under hot fire hurrying down the communication trench for more stuff.
Rattling his tools, he followed me with apparent reluctance. As he entered the wine-shop he snorted, after the manner of gas-men, "Where's de leak?" "You find-a da leak," grunted Albano. "What-a you get-a you pay for? You want-a me do your work?" "Well, half a dozen o' you wops get out o' here, that's all. D'youse all wanter be blown ter pieces wid dem pipes and cigarettes?
He now turned to Psmith. "Say, seen anything of the wops that live here?" he inquired. "I am addressing ?" said Psmith courteously. "My name's Gooch." Psmith bowed. "Touching these wops, Comrade Gooch," he said, "I fear there is little chance of your seeing them to-night, unless you wait some considerable time.
Anyhow, Uncle Sam lets up a squawk that she's only eighteen, goin' on nineteen, and a noble redskin to boot, and says his mining claims is reserved for Laps and Yaps and Japs and Wops, and such other furrin' slantheads of legal age as declare their intention to become American citizens if their claims turn out rich enough so's it pays 'em to do so.
I see," said the toad. "No, I've no waist, and don't want any, but I know a little chap that has; he's a little black and yellow fellow, who goes buzzing about, making a fine noise, and likes sweet things; he'd suit you, only he has such a tickler in his tail. His name's Wops, or Wasp, or something of that kind." "Oh! I know the conceited little plum-stealer; he's poisonous, like you are."
"It's easy enough for you smart young chaps to make verses, while you're living at ease on the old man's bounty. But that don't answer any argument. Are you college boys ready to take over his job? Or these Democrat politicians that come in here, talking fool-talk about liberty, making labour laws for these wops " "I begin to understand," said Hal.
"Ain't one o' y' dares t' show y'r face! Jus' y' let me see who's hissin', and I'll give y' what for! Geese hiss, and snakes! Come and do y'r hissin' where I can look at y'!" More hisses and cat calls, yowls, meows, and a spirited spitting; raucous laughter, too, and a mingling of voices in several tongues. "Wops!" cried Big Tom again. "Wops, and Kikes, and Micks!
It's only fair. Ain't I got a trooso to buy? Te, he! If I'd saved all the money I have been given to purchase troosos with I would have a bunch that would make Gladys Vanderbilt's layout look like a gingham wrapper. Sure, ain't it worth money to those wops to have the pure love of a good, true girl? Gee, don't make me laugh like a baby.
I want to see a seven-foot Mick cop with a back like a piano-box and a paw like a ham and a foot like a submarine with stove-polish on it. I want to see the subway in the rush hour and the dips and mollbuzzers going through the crowd like kids in a berry patch. I want to see a ninety-story building going up, and the wops crawling on it like ants.
"I'll get you yet," the Colonel declared from the shelter of an old stump behind which he had taken refuge. "Barking dogs never bite, Colonel. And that reminds me: I've heard enough from you. One more cheep out of you, my friend, and I'll go up to my own logging-camp, return here with a crew of bluenoses and wild Irish and run your wops, bohunks, and cholos out of the county.
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