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Updated: June 20, 2025
Lysander folded his arms, and surveyed him in a cool, sidelong way that was peculiarly withering. "Well," he said, with a caustic downward inflection, "well, it's you, is it?" The newcomer admitted the gravity of the charge by an appealing droop of his whole person. "Yes," he answered humbly, "it's me, an' I didn't want to come. I vum I didn't. But Forrester made me.
Hammersmith's escape from the room. Come closer; you may look at them, but keep your fingers off. You see that the coincidence you mentioned holds." Jake laughed again loudly, in a way he probably meant to express derision; then he stood silent, gazing curiously down at the pieces before him. "Well, I vum!"
On some small parish matter the rustic vestryman with the spectacled daughter came to Arthur's library in better spirits than he had shown for months, and by and by asked conjecturally, "I eh guess you don't keep any babies here you're ashamed to show, do ye?" and held his mouth very wide open. The infinitesimal was brought. "Well, I vum! Why, Miz.
Jest le' me get out, and I'll whip you so you can't stan'. See ef I don't." "You can't get out, missus; yah, yah!" laughed Pomp. "You's tied, you is, missus." "Come an' help me out, this minute!" exclaimed the old lady, stamping her foot. "Lor', missus, you'll whip me. You said you would." "So I will, I vum," retorted the irate old lady, rather undiplomatically.
He stood in the pen and shrieked with laughter while the hired men went rolling, one after the other, upon the ground, or were bruised against the fence by the rush of the burly swine. "You're a fine lot," he laughed. "Now, then, sir, grab 'im! Why don't ye nail 'im? I vum, sir, if I couldn't do better'n that, sir, I'd sell out; I would, sir, by gol! Get out o' the way!"
But mebby they'll settle down and be more megum when the pendulum gits kinder settled down some, and its vibration ceases to be so vibratin'. Anyway, I'm glad to see 'em a-steppin' out of their weeds, and I told 'em so. Sez I, "You wuz in mournin' a awful while, wuzn't you?" Oren fairly gritted his teeth, and before Lateza Alzina could speak, he busted out "By Vum! I've mourned all I'm a-goin' to!
"I vum!" he went on presently, "while I was down t' the city, what with poor food an' not 'nough of it, an' homesickness fit t' kill, I thought I seed my course clear. I had a job openin' isters; an' I worked, I kin tell you! 'Bout all the city folks eat isters an' I seed a good bit of life down at my shop, an' I learned city ways an' badness!
The tow hair stood up in wild dismay, and the blue eyes were perfect saucepans, as Kate gently forced the money into the big palm. "Wall, I vum, miss, I feel like I was a-robbing you, but ef yeou deu want I should take it, why I will, and send it to my old mother, who will find plenty o' use for it. Good-by, miss. Ef you should want me again, I'm at the hospital.
Here it is broad daylight, and that fire not built. I vum, sir, you need a thrashin', the whole kit an bilun' of ye; yessir! Come, come, come! hustle now, stir your boots! hustle y'r boots Ha! ha! ha!" It was of no use to plead cold weather and damp chips. "What has that got to do with it, sir? I vum, sir, when I was your age, I could make a fire of green red-oak; yessir!
"Land, o' course we'll all go," Mis' Amanda Toplady comfortably settled it, "an' take Emerel a deboo present, civilized. The dear child." And to that many of us gladly assented, Timothy, big Amanda's little husband, going so far as to add: "I do vum, the Sykeses feels the post-office like it was that much oats." A day later Timothy's opinion seemed, he thought, to be verified.
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