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Updated: May 15, 2025
"Not a thing not a blamed thing," declared Gallup, forcing a sickly smile to his face. "What were you thinking about so glumly?" "Oh, nuthin'. I was jest kinder meditatin' on the fact that most folks are 'tarnal fools, and I guess I'm abaout the biggest fool I know." "That's hardly like you. You're not usually troubled with such thoughts." "He's gitting older and wiser, Frankie," chuckled Mulloy.
It's so 'tarnal dark, neighbor " "You see those lights down yonder?" snapped the Captain. "They are at the bunk-house. Cook'll give you some chuck and a chance to spread your blanket. But don't you let me catch you around here too long after breakfast to-morrow morning. We don't encourage hobos, and we already have all the men hired for the season we want."
I ain't goin' to make no excuses, but when that critter, Silence, tried to rub it into me I gut so tarnal hot-headed that I right up and told him I'd go him for any old figger. I didn't s'pose he'd make it so large. Your talk abaout betting has made me so all-fired disgusted with myself that I jest want to jump off the earth." "This is bad business bad business," muttered Frank.
"Tarnal death to me!" said he, rubbing his eyes when Nathan shook him from his slumbers, "I war nigh gone in a dead snooze! being as how I ar'n't had a true reggelar mouthful of snortin' this h'yar no-time, considering I always took it with my hoptical peepers right open. But, I say, Nathan, what's the last news from the abbregynes and anngelliferous madam?"
"Hollo, Dick! hang it, old hoss, what are ye 'bout?" "Carambo!" "By the 'tarnal airthquake!" "Vaya! hombre, vaya!" "Carrajo!" "By Gosh!" "Santisima Maria!" "Sacr-r-re!" It seemed as if the different nations had sent representatives to contest the supremacy of their shibboleths. I was struck with three groups.
"So, what does the tarnal old fool do but unhook the cord so't the bulb could be carried as far as the winder. And he hung it outside, shut the winder down on it, drawed the shade and went to bed in the dark. "Elnathan Spear, the constable, seen the light a-shining outside the winder in the middle of the night and he thought 'twas burglars. He dreams of burglars, Elnathan does.
Shet up yur durned head, or ye'll scare away the birds! an', by the tarnal! ef you do, I'll fire at ye, the fust that takes wing!" "Let that be the signal, then!" cried I, roused to an impatient indignation by this new insult: "the first that takes wing!" "Agreed!" was the quick rejoinder, delivered in a tone that bespoke determination to abide by it. My irresolution troubled me no longer.
I know'd the crittur, and sung out to the feller to stop, and he wouldn't; and so I jist blazed away at him, right bang at his back, knocked him over jist like a streak o' lightning, and had the scalp off his 'tarnal ugly head afore you could say John Robinson, and all the while madam was jist as dead as a piece of rock. Here's the top-knot, and an ugly dirty top-knot it is!"
"It's the tarnal truth," says my grandfather, and fell to whistling, like a man facing it out. But the tune he chose was "Yankee Doodle!" This, of course, made the Jew dead sure of his man. But he was a lean little wisp of a man, and my grandfather too strongly built to be tackled.
By this time, Tonoi, the illustrious descendant of the Bishops of Imeeo, was twenty feet from the ground. "Aramai! come down, you old fool!" cried the Yankee; "the pesky critter's on t'other side of the island afore this." "I rayther guess," he continued, as we began reloading, "that we've spoiled sport by firing at that 'ere tarnal hog.
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