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Updated: May 28, 2025
6 An excellent and very discreet person, very near ally'd both to you and mee, was relating to mee, that some time since, whilst she was talking with some other Ladies, upon a sudden, all the objects, she looked upon, appeared to her dyed with unusual Colours, some of one kind, and some of another, but all so bright and vivid, that she should have been as much delighted, as surpriz'd with them, but that finding the apparition to continue, she fear'd it portended some very great alteration as to her health: As indeed the day after she was assaulted with such violence by Hysterical and Hypocondrical Distempers, as both made her rave for some daies, and gave her, during that time, a Bastard Palsey.
They had not been long in Bed before Diana began to kiss the Parson's Wife with Freedom, but she not suspecting any thing farther, and supposing it might proceed more from Wine than any thing else was pretty easy, 'till at last Diana threw her self upon her, and began an Adventure, very displeasing, which surpriz'd her to that degree, that she cried out vehemently.
I telegraphed for the manuscript and got it. It was a thin bound volume, provided with a title written in longhand by someone in the eighteenth century, who had also added this note: 'My father, who took these notes in court, told me that the prisoner's friends had made interest with Judge Jeffreys that no report should be put out: he had intended doing this himself when times were better, and had shew'd it to the Revd Mr Glanvil, who incourag'd his design very warmly, but death surpriz'd them both before it could be brought to an accomplishment.
Here we law the State of the War among Nations; Here was the French giving Sham-thanks for Victories they never got, and some body else adressing and congratulating the sublime Glory of running away: Here was Te Deum for Sham-Victories by Land; and there was Thanksgiving for Ditto by Sea: Here we might see two Armies fight, both run away, and both come and thank GOD for nothing: Here we saw a Plan of a late War like that in Ireland; there was all the Officers cursing a Dutch General, because the damn'd Rogue would fight, and spoil a good War, that with decent Management and good Husbandry, might have been eek't out this Twenty Years; there was whole Armies hunting two Cows to one Irishman, and driving of black Cattle declar'd the Noble End of the the War: Here we saw a Country full of Stone Walls and strong Towns, where every Campaign, the Trade of War was carried on by the Soldiers, with the same Intriguing as it was carried on in the Council Chambers; there was Millions of Contributions raised, and vast Sums Collected, but no Taxes lessen'd; whole Plate Fleets surpriz'd, but no Treasure found; vaft Sums lost by Enemies, and yet never found by Friends, Ships loaded with Volatile Silver, that came away full, and gat home empty; whole Voyages made to beat No body, and plunder Every body; two Millions robb'd from the honest Merchants, and not a Groat sav'd for the honest Subjects: There we saw Captains Lifting Men with the Governments Money, and letting them go again for their own; Ships fitted out at the Rates of Two Millions a Year, to fight but once in Three Years, and then run away for want of Powder and Shot.
Bell. How! I hope not so; I left Charmante confin'd to my Closet, when my Uncle had like to have surpriz'd us together: Is he not here? Ela. No, he's escap'd, but he has made sweet doings. Bell. Heavens, Cousin! What? Ela.
But though I have from Minerals obtain'd with several Menstruums very differing Colours, and some such as perhaps you would be surpriz'd to see drawn from such Bodies: yet I must now pass by the particulars, being desirous to put an End to this Treatise, before I put an end to your Patience and my own. Annotation III.
I told him they were rational Beings, but that the Story was now too long to tell him; he presented me to the rest of the Company, and, at my Request, the Cacklogallinians were humanly treated, whom otherwise they had look'd upon as overgrown dunghill Fowls. Volatilio did not appear much surpriz'd at this, who had once esteem'd me a Prodigy of Nature.
But coming unto him, hee was very glad of what had past, & of the good condition I had sett matters. Wee consulted together what mesures to take not to be surpriz'd & to maintaine ourselves the best wee could in our setlement for carrying on our Treaty.
He was extreamly surpriz'd, as were the Prisoners, who confess'd their Design to have been upon Lorenzo; grounding their Mistake upon the Habit which was known to have been his. They were Two Men who formerly had been Servants to him, whom Lorenzo had unfortunately slain.
When she calling her Woman, bid her bolt the Garden Door on the Inside, that she might not be Surpriz'd by her Father, if he returned through the Convent, which done, she ordered her to bring down her Lute, and leave her to her self in the Garden.
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