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Updated: September 4, 2025
"Very little," Uncle Bill drawled tranquilly: "I dudes." "You what?" "I keeps an 'ad' in the sportin' journals, and guides." "Oh, yes, hunters eastern sportsmen " Mr. Dill nodded. "But I thought I recognized an old-time prospector in you." "They's no better in the hull West," Yankee Sam declared generously, while Uncle Bill murmured that there was surer money in dudes.
Don't make me do all the social stunts. What's the news? What kind of a rotten cotton sportin' sheet is that dub Callahan gettin' out? Who won to-day Cubs or Pirates? Norberg, you goat, who pinned that purple tie on you?" He was so like the Blackie we had always known that we were at our ease immediately.
"He ain't rid' around with a circus nor followed the sportin' life, and he's al'ays lived in the country and minded his own business, but he's good for a whole crateful of your sportin' blooders and so long as he licks, it don't make no difference how he does it." The personal reference in this little speech was too plain for Hiram to disregard.
A "sportin', huntin', don't-you-know what?" sort of fellow would please her better, if all else were suitable, because she could turn him round her finger; and that neither she nor anybody else can ever do with Sir Lionel though he is pathetically chivalrous where women are concerned, and still more pathetically credulous.
"'Pale youth, quoth I, 'I pray thee the way to the sanctum-sanctorum, to the Most High Cock-a-lorum. "He deigned to look at me, scornfully, with infinite weariness. "'G'wan an' see the janitor. I don't know nothin' about the gas. "'Nay, my lily-white, the editor. "'Wich editor? he snapped like a young bullterrier. 'Dramatic? Sportin'? Society? Sunday? Weekly? Daily? Telegraph? Local? News?
Let's divide up, that's what I say, and don't have them fellows sportin' round in their carriages and goin' to Europe, while the rest of us is sweatin' through the dog days in the shops." Loud murmurs of approval broke from a hundred sullen lips, and Bob Taylor, encouraged by Jack's success, jumped to his feet and shouted
And later when that Jake Horwitz from the United shop comes around sportin' his instalment Liberty bond button, but backin' his fallen arches to keep him exempt, I gives him the cold eye. 'Nix on the coo business, Mister Horwitz, says I, 'for when I hold out my ear for that it's got to come from a reg'lar man. Get me? Which is a good deal the same I hands the others.
And why shouldn't we be the men to find it out? Besides," he added, his queer, gaunt face shining with delight, "there's a sportin' risk in every mile of it. I'm like an old golf-ball I've had all the white paint knocked off me long ago. Life can whack me about now, and it can't leave a mark. But a sportin' risk, young fellah, that's the salt of existence. Then it's worth livin' again.
He's just a big stiff. I've seen 'm fight, an' I can pass him the sleep medicine just as easy. The Secretary of the Sportin' Life Club offered to match me. An' a hundred iron dollars in it for the winner. And it'll all be yours to blow in any way you want. What d'ye say?" "If I can't work for money, you can't fight," was Saxon's ultimatum, immediately withdrawn.
"What are they a doin' of?" "Sportin' of themselves." "Exactly," sais I, "and do you place man below the beasts of the field and the fishes of the sea? What in natur' was humour given to us for but for our divarsion? What sort of a world would this be if every fellow spoke sermons and talked homilies, and what in that case would parsons do?
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