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Updated: June 2, 2025
"Never you mind how funny you look. Put them on or I'll or I'll spank you." He swallowed uneasily at the penultimate word, feeling nevertheless that it was the proper thing to say. "All right, father" this with a grotesque simulation of filial respect "you've lived longer; you know best. Just as you say." As before, the sound of the word "father" caused Mr. Button to start violently. "And hurry."
No words, but, in the place thereof, a clean, straight, hard hit, which took effect with a spank like the explosion of a percussion-cap, knocking the slayer of beeves down a sand-bank, followed, alas! by the too impetuous youth, so that both rolled down together, and the conflict terminated in one of those inglorious and inevitable Yankee clinches, followed by a general melee, which make our native fistic encounters so different from such admirably-ordered contests as that which I once saw at an English fair, where everything was done decently and in order; and the fight began and ended with such grave propriety, that a sporting parson need hardly have hesitated to open it with a devout petition, and, after it was over, dismiss the ring with a benediction.
It is quite a common thing for Bears to spank their cubs when they need it, and if Grumpy had disciplined Johnny this way, it would have saved them both a deal of worry. Perhaps not a day passed, that summer, without Grumpy getting into trouble on Johnny's account. But of all these numerous occasions the most ignominious was shortly after the affair with the Grizzly.
One of them held a coil of new rope and tantalizingly swung it back and forth before his face. "You must go with us up the Hawkbill fer a little moonlight picnic," he jeered. "We've picked out a tree up thar that leans spank over a cliff five hundred feet from the bottom. Ef the rope broke, ur yore noggin slipped through the noose, you'd never know how come you so."
Spank must hear that by-and-by. It is beyond thy great thick head, Jack. 'Not so, my lord; I have been at school, and had very bad jokes made upon me. 'Ha, ha! It hath hit thee hard. And faith, it would be hard to miss thee, even with harpoon. And thou lookest like to blubber, now. Capital, in faith! I have thee on every side, Jack, and thy sides are manifold; many-folded at any rate.
Yo' ma 'd be skeered to spank you, skeered she 'd injuh yo' mumps. Don't you come any closter to me," he again warned, "you too little to have 'em." "I'll give you five peewees if you'll lemme tech 'em so 's I can get 'em," pleaded the younger boy. Billy hesitated. "You mighty little " he began. "And my stoney," said the other child eagerly.
'Spank, is it so? his lordship cried, in a voice that shook the cobwebs, and the frown on his brow shook the hearts of men, and mine as much as the rest of them, 'Spank, is His Majesty come to this, that he starves his own approvers? 'My lord, my lord, whispered Mr. Spank, the chief-officer of evidence, 'the thing hath been overlooked, my lord, among such grave matters of treason.
When a boy has had his head swelled by his importance as a member of the Junior Street-cleaning Band to the point of reproving his mother for throwing a banana peel in the street, the thing to be done is to take him out and spank him, if it is reverting to "the savagery" of the street. Better a savage than a cad. The boys have the making of both in them.
Tommy, shrieking indignant protests, was borne from the car and deposited on the sidewalk. "Don't you dare get limber!" threatened Lovey Mary. "If you do I'll spank you right here on the street. Stand up! Straighten out your legs! Tommy! do you hear me?" Tommy might have remained limp indefinitely had not a hurdy-gurdy opportunely arrived on the scene.
And to my great amazement, when I went with another bill for the victuals of only three days more, and a week's expense on the homeward road reckoned very narrowly, Master Spank not only refused to grant me any interview, but sent me out a piece of blue paper, looking like a butcher's ticket, and bearing these words and no more, "John Ridd, go to the devil.
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