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Updated: June 12, 2025
Keep the Sabbath in the land that the Lord giveth thee; not in England, which isn't thine. 'Oho! retorted the Parnass. 'Then at that rate in England you needn't honour your father and mother. 'Not if you haven't got them! rejoined Simeon Samuels. 'And if you haven't got a land, you can't keep its Sabbath. Perhaps you think we can keep the Jubilee also without a country.
Simeon Samuels, aware of a fly hovering on the purlieus of his web, issued from its centre, as the Parnass turned his back on the shop and gazed musingly at the sky. 'Looks threatening for rain, sir, observed Simeon Samuels, addressing the back. 'Our waterproofs Bless my soul, but it surely isn't our Parnass! 'Yes, I'm just strolling about. I seem to have stumbled on your establishment.
He had been successively Gabbai and Parnass, or treasurer and president, and had presented the plush curtain, with its mystical decoration of intersecting triangles, woven in silk, that hung before the Ark in which the scrolls of the Law were kept. He was the very antithesis of Moses Ansell. His energy was restless.
'To-day, yes, but to-morrow there might be two. 'It could hardly be to-morrow, said the stylist. 'For that happens to be a Monday. Barzinsky bashed the table. 'Mr. President, are we here for business or are we not? 'You may be here for business I am here for religion, retorted Straumann the stylist. 'You you snub-nosed monkey, what do you mean? 'Order, order, gentlemen, said the Parnass.
'Well, Solomon Barzinsky does, said the Parnass. 'Go to him instead, then, for I'm past soothing him. Choose! 'I'll go to Simeon Samuels, said the preacher gloomily. 'It is most kind of you to call, said Simeon Samuels as he wheeled the parlour armchair towards his reverend guest. 'My wife will be so sorry to have missed you. We have both been looking forward so much to your visit.
As it is written in Jeremiah: "And the wild asses did stand in the high places; they snuffed up the wind." The Parnass flushed like a beetroot. 'I'll teach you to know your place, sir. He turned his back on the scoffer, and strode towards the door. 'But if you'd care for a smaller snuff-box, said Simeon Samuels, 'I have an artistic assortment.
'But Joseph refused. Solomon Barzinsky coughed. Peleg the pawnbroker blew his nose like a protesting trumpet. The congregation's eyes returned from the balcony and converged upon the Parnass. He was taking snuff as usual. 'My brethren, began the preacher impressively, 'temptation comes to us all A sniff of indignant repudiation proceeded from many nostrils. A blush overspread many cheeks.
'My dear Mendel, observed the wizened senior, flicking away the spilth with a blue handkerchief, 'Simeon Samuels has already paid his annual subscription and you haven't! 'My money is good, Mendel replied, reddening. 'No wonder he can pay so quickly! said Solomon Barzinsky, shuffling the cards savagely. 'How he makes his money is not the question, said the Parnass weightily.
But as to his behaviour after the guns were still, there was no dubiety, for everybody saw him approach the Parnass in the exodus from synagogue, and many heard him say in hearty accents: 'I really must congratulate you, Mr. President, on your selection of your minister. 'That is not my fault, said the preacher, crestfallen. 'Yes, it is if you had only stuck to my text. But no!
'If they stole my idea, they'd not be able to carry it out. It's not easy to cajole a captain. 'No, you're indeed a honeyed rascal, thought the Parnass. 'I also do a brisk business in chutney, went on Simeon. 'It's a thing women are especially fond of having brought back to them from India. And yet it's the last thing their menkind think of till I remind them of it on their return.
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