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Updated: June 27, 2025
Is she any relation of Black Shuck, the ghost dog you were telling me about?" "It's no larfin' matter, ma'aster. You moind the day me and Billy Backlog come and towld yow about us seein' that chap on th' edge of yon wood that night? Well, just befower we seed un we heerd th' rummiest kind of noise summat atween a moan and a shriek, comin' from this 'ere pit.
"You see," I said, taking hold of the tassel which waved from the man's belt, and drawin him close to me in a confidential way, "You see, I'm lookin round this Mooseum, and if I like it I shall buy it." Instid of larfin hartily at these remarks, which was made in a goakin spirit, the man frowned darkly and walked away.
"Yes, boss," he replied, "an' I wish 'em honorable graves!" and he went on playin the banjo, larfin all over and openin his mouth wide enuff to drive in an old-fashioned 2 wheeled chaise. The train of cars in which I was to trust my wallerable life, was the scaliest, rickytiest lookin lot of consarns that I ever saw on wheels afore. "What time does this string of second-hand coffins leave?"
"I was good-natered ag'in by that time, an' I sez, larfin' along with her, 'Waal, I've got three mittens, but I guess I might's waal hev 'nother, and that will make two pair complete. Say, Bewlah, will yeou hev me? "'Yes, I will. sez she. "'Reelly? sez I. "'Solemn trew, sez she.
"Chucklin'? if ye mean be that `larfin' in to myself' it's because I'm thinkin' o' a chap as once comed out to the prairies." "Let us walk back to the camp, Joe, and you can tell me about him as we go along." "I think," continued Joe, "he comed from Washington, but I never could make out right whether he wos a government man or not.
I don't think Rube knew what I war larfin' at; but he told me afterward he larfed to see me larf, which, in all the time we had been together, he hadn't seen. What made us larf worse was that the Mexicans were so startled that they seized their rifles and rushed to the doorway, and stood looking at us as if we were wild beasts.
Whenever you make an impression on a man, stop; your reasonin' and details may ruin you. Like a feller who sais a good thing, he'd better shove off, and leave every one larfin' at his wit, than stop and tire them out, till they say what a great screw augur that is.
Whenever you make an impression on a man, stop; your reasonin' and details may ruin you. Like a feller who sais a good thing, he'd better shove off, and leave every one larfin' at his wit, than stop and tire them out, till they say what a great screw augur that is.
Well, he sneaks off home, lookin like a fool, and thinkin every body he meets is a larfin at him many folks here are like that are boy, afore they have been six months married. They'd be proper glad to get out of the scrape too, and sneak off if they could, that's a fact.
"No, I wish it was, for a misnomer, an alibi, a nonjoinder, a demurrer, a nonsuit, a freemason or a know-nothin' sign to a juror, a temperance wink, or an orange nod to a partisan judge, or some cussed quirk or quibble or another, would carry me through it. No, it ain't that." "What is it then?" "Why," sais I, a bustin' out a larfin, "I am most dead sometimes with the jumpin' toothache."
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