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This made her just as mad as she could stick. She retired, but cum out agin putty quick with a panfull of Bilin hot water which she throwed all over the Squire, & Surs, you wood have split your sides larfin to see the old man jump up and holler & run into the house. Except this unpropishus circumstance all went as merry as a carriage bell, as Lord Byrun sez.
All the folks ran out of the Lady's House, to see what on airth was the matter on Uncle Enoch's plantation they thought there was actilly a rebellion there; but when they listened awhile, and heerd it over and over again, they took the hint, and returned a larfin in their sleeves. Says they, Master Enoch Slick, he upsides with Missus this hitch any how.
Come on, Missus! That's right. We'll all 'ave meat pies! This 'ere's sumfin like Christmas, eh? We've not 'ad a Christmas like this not for many a long year. Now, 'urry up, Kid. Don't spend all yer time larfin'. Now, ladies an' gents, 'oo's fer a sausage roll? All of us? Come on, then!
We sot there talkin & larfin until "the switchin hour of nite, when grave yards yawn & Josts troop 4th," as old Bill Shakespire aptlee obsarves in his dramy of John Sheppard, esq, or the Moral House Breaker, when we broke up & disbursed. Muther & children is a doin well & as Resolushuns is the order of the day I will feel obleeged if you'll insurt the follerin
If she didn't scream, its a pity, and the more she screamed the more folks larfed, for no soul could help larfin, till one of the waiters folded her up in a table cloth.
This note she sent to him by John, who, naturally quick-witted, read a portion of the truth in her tell-tale face, and giving a loud whistle in token of his approbation he exclaimed, "This nigger'll never quit larfin' if you gets him after all Miss Nellie's nonsense, and I hopes you will, for he's a heap better chap than I s'posed, though I b'lieve I like t'other one the best!" Poor Maude!
"And that's the reason you are here!" sez I, larfin one of my silvery larfs. I thawt if he wanted to goak I'd giv him sum of my sparklin eppygrams. "Sir, you're inserlent. The plain question is, will you haul down the Star-Spangled Banner, and hist the Southern flag!" "Nary hist!" Those was my reply. "Your wax works and beests is then confisticated, & you air arrested as a Spy!"
And then there's Matilda and that there Venus one predickyment on top of another!" He was prevented from indulging this any further by a long, low laugh, which came from the closed cupboard. "No such luck she's back again!" he groaned. "Oh, come out if you want to. Don't stay larfin' at me in there!" The goddess stepped out, with a smile of subdued mirth upon her lips.
He is properly hen-pecked, said he; he is afeerd to call his soul his own, and he leads the life of a dog; you never seed the beat of it, I vow. Did you ever see a rooster hatch a brood of chickens? No, said I, not that I can recollect. Well then I have, said he, and if he don't look like a fool all the time he is a settin on the eggs, its a pity; no soul could help larfin to see him.
"Don't laugh in church, you monster," said Corrie, with a frown. "I'se not larfin," retorted Poopy, with an injured look. He passed steadily up the centre of the church, and sat down beside the Widow Stuart, whose face expressed anxiety and surprise the moment she observed who was seated there.
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