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Updated: May 10, 2025
'Try me, an' tell, sez I. Wid that I pulled on my gloves, dhrank off the tay, an' went out av the house as stiff as at gin'ral p'rade, for well I knew that Dinah Shadd's eyes were in the small av my back out av the scullery window. Faith! that was the only time I mourned I was not a cav'lry man for the pride av the spurs to jingle.
"You git all de freedom you wants ef you does ez I sez." "Mo'n I wants ef I've got ter min' ev'ybody, eben dem w'at's neber growed up." "I des step ter de gin'ral en say you hab dejections 'bout cookin' he dinner. Den I tell 'im ter order out a char'ot ter tek you ter glory." "G'lang! imperdence," said Aun' Suke, resuming her duties. "La!
'If he is a Yankey he's a decent lad what what? "The Gin'ral shook hands with Jack an', says he: 'Young man, I have no doubt o' 'yer curidge or yer decency. "A grand pair o' hosses an' a closed coach druv up an' the ol' what-whatter an' two other men got into it an' hustled off 'cross the field towards the pike which it looked as if they was in a hurry.
He suffered fr'm warts whin a boy, which sometimes leads to bozimbral hoptocollographophiloplutomania, or what th' Germans call tantrums, but me gin'ral con-clusion was that he was perfectly sane all his life till this minnyit, an' that so much sanity wint to his head an' blew th' cover off. "'Has he been sane iver since? says the lawyer.
'I suppose that's why you followed Annie Bragin till everybody in the married quarters laughed at you, said I, remembering that unhallowed wooing and casting off the disguise of drowsiness. 'I'm layin' down the gin'ral theory av the attack, said Mulvaney, driving his boot into the dying fire. "I've believed that way these eighteen years," sez ould Shadd, his eyes twinklin'; "but Mrs.
'Our people like ex-citement, said the Captain, whispering. 'He ain't like emigrants in gin'ral; and he excited 'em along of this; he winked and burst into a smothered laugh; 'along of this. Scadder is a smart man, and and nobody as goes to Eden ever comes back alive!
There goes me dhream iv bein' sultan along with me dhream iv bein' a gr-reat gin'ral till th' Spanish war. If that's th' kind iv job a sultan has, I'll lave it f'r anny wan to take that wants it.
Th' American foorces is r-ready f'r to start immejately, but they ar-re not there yet. Th' British gin'ral is waitin' f'r th' Victorya cross befure he does annything, an' th' Japanese an' th' Rooshan is dancin' up an' down sayin' 'Afther you, me boy."
Lord be good to me, an' fwhat if she lays here tin year', and you somewheres fillin' the eyes av the aygles with your brains blowed out, neat?" he demanded misanthropically. "Fwhat if she lays here on that gin'ral theory till she's rotted up, sorr?" "Ah well now, Barnay," said St. George grimly, "you couldn't have an easier career."
'Twas him said, 'War is hell'; an' that's wan iv th' finest sayin's I know annything about. 'War is hell': 'tis a thrue wurrud an' a fine sintiment. An' Gin'ral Sherman says, 'Th' on'y good Indyun is a dead Indyun. An' that's a good sayin', too.
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