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Haven't we the mass, and vespers, and beads, and monasteries, and Lent, all complate?" "So then you're a celibate a monk?" "And to be shure I am; ye don't think I look like a nun, do ye?" "A water drinker?" "Well, sorr, I'm tell ye no lie not altogether; I am not a teetotaller all out, I'm a sober man, and I mostly drink cocoanut water and tea. It's a fine, free life, I can tell ye."
'I'm busy with a patthern here that is brakin' my heart, says the waiver; 'and antil I complate it and masther it intirely I won't quit. 'Oh, think o' the iligant stirabout, that 'ill be spylte intirely. 'To the divil with the stirabout, says he. 'God forgive you, says she, 'for cursin' your good brekquest. 'Ay, and you too, says he.
'But he wint out the wrong door, bein' a thrifle hearty in himself, an' not rightly knowin' whether he was standin' on his head or his heels, or both iv them at the same time, an' in place iv gettin' into bed, where did he thrun himself but into the poulthry hamper, that the boys had settled out ready for the gandher in the mornin'. An' sure enough he sunk down soft an' complate through the hay to the bottom; an' wid the turnin' and roulin' about in the night, the divil a bit iv him but was covered up as shnug as a lumper in a pittaty furrow before mornin'.
Comes, boys, says he, turnin' to us, 'tie every sowl in the house, barrin' the poor sick procthor that we all feel for, bekaise you see, Misther Callaghan, in ordher to do the thing complate, we intind to have your own family spectawthers of the cure.
In fact, it was logic complate, convincing logic, every word of it. So I responded to him in what is called in the books, the argumentum ad crumenam; although I question but it ought to be designated here the argumentum ad bestiam.
Av we hed the b'ys now, we'd be complate," turning over one face after another, unmistakably Dutch or Puritan. "Ev it's Pat O'Shaughnessy yez want," said another, "he'd be afther gittin' ayont the McManuses, an' here they are. They're Fardowners on'y. Pat's Corkonian, he is; he'll be nearer th' inemy by a fut, I'll ingage yez."
'Jim Sulivan, says she, 'it's in your dacent coffin you should be, you unforthunate sperit, says she; 'what is it's annoyin' your sowl, in the wide world, at all? says she; 'hadn't you everything complate? says she, 'the oil, an' the wake, an' the berrin'? says she.
By the same token, I wish I had that book in me head, for I could just squelch Dannie and Mary with it complate. Say, Mister O'Khayam, next time you come this way bring me a copy. I'm wantin' it bad. I got what you gave off all secure, but I take it there's more. No man goin' at that clip could shut off with thim few lines. Do you know the rist?"
"You may lay to that," Sal promised him: and so, but in no very firm voice, he pitched to the song again: With transport he gazed upon her, His happiness then was complate; And he blessed the celestial donor That on him bestowed such a mate "I reckon, friends, we'll leave out the chorus!"
So with that he made off with himself straight to Andy Curtis; an' before three days more was past, the weddin' kem an', an' Nell Gorman an' Andy Curtis was married as complate as possible; an' if the wake was plisint the weddin' was tin times as agreeble, an' all the neighbours that could make their way to it was there, an' there was three fiddlers an' lots iv pipers, an' ould Connor Shamus the piper himself was in it by the same token it was the last weddin' he ever played music at, for the next mornin', whin he was goin' home, bein' mighty hearty an' plisint in himself, he was smothered in the snow, undher the ould castle; an' by my sowl he was a sore loss to the bys an' girls twenty miles round, for he was the illigantest piper, barrin' the liquor alone, that ever worked a bellas.
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