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Updated: May 10, 2025
"But do not let the torrent of your feelings end by sweeping me away also!" "Siddharta took his vows alone. I want ours to be a joint arrangement." The idea passed away in talk. The fact is, Bimala is at heart what is called a "lady". Though her own people are not well off, she was born a Rani.
The unveiled star tells me not to fear. That which is eternal must always be there. Now let me go and see my Bimala. She must have spread her tired limbs on the bed, limp after her struggles, and be asleep. I will leave a kiss on her forehead without waking her that shall be the flower-offering of my worship.
If only women could be set free from the artificial fetters put round them by men, we could see on earth the living image of Kali, the shameless, pitiless goddess. I am a worshipper of Kali, and one day I shall truly worship her, setting Bimala on her altar of Destruction. For this let me get ready. The way of retreat is absolutely closed for both of us.
My call went seeking you from sky to sky When you lay hidden; But now all my cry finds its smile In the face of my beloved." */ Listening to his allegories, I had forgotten that I was plain and simple Bimala. I was Shakti; also an embodiment of Universal joy. Nothing could fetter me, nothing was impossible for me; whatever I touched would gain new life.
But the gods would not have it that such journey should be easy, so they have deputed the siren Sympathy to distract the wayfarer, to dim his vision with her tearful mist. I can see that poor Bimala is struggling like a snared deer. What a piteous alarm there is in her eyes! How she is torn with straining at her bonds! This sight, of course, should gladden the heart of a true hunter.
I could see at once that the little differences she used to have with Bimala, about money matters, did not proceed from any sordid worldliness, but because she felt that her claims in regard to this one relationship of her life had been overridden and its ties weakened for her by the coming in between of this other woman from goodness knows where!
When in that midnight, standing under the silent stars, I looked upon that figure, my mind was struck with awe, and I said to myself: "Who am Ito judge her?" O life, O death, O God of the infinite existence, I bow my head in silence to the mystery which is in you. Once I thought I should turn back. But I could not. I sat down on the ground near Bimala and placed my hand on her head.
At least three thousand is indispensably necessary five thousand would do roundly and nicely. But how on earth am I to mention money after the high flight we have just taken? And yet time is precious! I crushed all hesitation under foot as I jumped up and made my plunge: "Queen! Our purse is empty, our work about to stop!" Bimala winced.
The room, which from persistent neglect had latterly acquired an air of having grown absent-minded, had regained something of its old order this afternoon. I stood there silently, looking enquiringly at Bimala. She flushed a little and the fingers of her right hand toyed for a time with the bangles on her left arm. Then she abruptly broke the silence. "Look here!
I distinctly remember after my marriage, when, early in the morning, I would cautiously and silently get up and take the dust of my husband's feet without waking him, how at such moments I could feel the vermilion mark upon my forehead shining out like the morning star. One day, he happened to awake, and smiled as he asked me: "What is that, Bimala? What are you doing?"
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