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Updated: May 10, 2025
"Look here, Bimala," he objected at length, "that brass pot is as unconscious of itself as those blossoms are; but this thing protests its purpose so loudly, it is only fit for artificial flowers." The Bara Rani, alone, pandered to my husband's whims. Once she comes panting to say: "Oh, brother, have you heard? Such lovely Indian soaps have come out!
His nature was so sensitive to all omens of evil that he had at once understood. He was not easily moved, but that day he felt the dark shadow of trouble ahead. Do I not know how well he loves me? At tea-time I said to Sandip: "I have just had a letter from Rangpur. They are complaining that I am selfishly detaining you. When will you be going there?" Bimala was pouring out the tea.
For the worthy there are many rewards on God's earth, but God has specially reserved love for the unworthy. Up till now Bimala was my home-made Bimala, the product of the confined space and the daily routine of small duties.
Let those who have made the mistake learn their error by knocking against the world. Why need I bother about their plight? For the present I find it wearisome to keep Bimala soaring much longer, like a captive balloon, in regions ethereal. I had better get quite through with the matter in hand.
She had been hurt at every turn and yet had not the right to complain. And Bimala? She also had felt that the Senior Rani's claim over me was not based merely on our social connection, but went much deeper; and she was jealous of these ties between us, reaching back to our childhood. Today my heart knocked heavily against the doors of my breast.
Who could bear my company day and night without a break? Bimala is full of the energy of life, and so she has never become stale to me for a moment, in all these nine years of our wedded life. My life has only its dumb depths; but no murmuring rush. I can only receive: not impart movement. And therefore my company is like fasting.
"I have taken it out already," said Bimal. I was startled. "Where have you kept it, then?" asked my sister-in-law. "I have spent it." "Just listen to her! Whatever did you spend all that money on?" Bimal made no reply. I asked her nothing further. The Bara Rani seemed about to make some further remark to Bimala, but checked herself.
I asked Bimala in the evening whether she would care to have a trip to the Hills. I knew she had a great longing to see the Himalayas. But she refused ... The country's Cause, I suppose! I must not lose my faith: I shall wait. The passage from the narrow to the larger world is stormy. When she is familiar with this freedom, then I shall know where my place is.
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