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Updated: May 10, 2025
You are the Queen Bee of our hive, and we the workers shall rally around you. You shall be our centre, our inspiration." Bimala flushed all over with bashful pride and her hand shook as she went on pouring out the tea. Another day my master came to me and said: "Why don't you two go up to Darjeeling for a change? You are not looking well. Have you been getting enough sleep?"
When Bimala rose to depart and had neared the door I remarked in my most casual manner: "So, about the money ..." Bimala halted and faced back as she said: "On the expiry of the month, when our personal allowances become due ..." "That, I am afraid, would be much too late." "When do you want it then?" "Tomorrow. "Tomorrow you shall have it."
I recognize clearly today that Bimala has been languishing because of a famine of companionship. Then whom shall I blame? Like Vidyapati I can only lament: /* It is August, the sky breaks into a passionate rain; Alas, empty is my house. */ My house, I now see, was built to remain empty, because its doors cannot open. But I never knew till now that its divinity had been sitting outside.
Not that I have any false shame at Bimala becoming an object of my desire. It is only too clear how she wants me, and so I look on her as quite legitimately mine. The fruit hangs on the branch by the stem, but that is no reason why the claim of the stem should be eternal. Ripe fruit cannot for ever swear by its slackening stem-hold.
They shirk their responsibility of fairness and try quickly to get at results through the short- cuts of injustice. Bimala has no patience with patience. She loves to find in men the turbulent, the angry, the unjust. Her respect must have its element of fear. I had hoped that when Bimala found herself free in the outer world she would be rescued from her infatuation for tyranny.
"What harm?" said Nikhil. "If I could read the book, why not Bimala too? All I want to say is, that in Europe people look at everything from the viewpoint of science. But man is neither mere physiology, nor biology, nor psychology, nor even sociology. For God's sake don't forget that. Man is infinitely more than the natural science of himself.
It will, however, be difficult to explain to Bimala today that Sandip's love of country is but a different phase of his covetous self-love. Bimala's hero-worship of Sandip makes me hesitate all the more to talk to her about him, lest some touch of jealousy may lead me unwittingly into exaggeration. It may be that the pain at my heart is already making me see a distorted picture of Sandip.
I called out: "Bimala!" She started and stayed her steps, but did not turn back. I went round and stood before her. Her face was in the shade, the moonlight fell on mine. Her eyes were downcast, her hands clenched. "Bimala," said I, "why should I seek to keep you fast in this closed cage of mine? Do I not know that thus you cannot but pine and droop?"
It is because I am such a mystery to my own mind that my attraction for myself is so strong! If once the whole of myself should become known to me, I would then fling it all away and reach beatitude! As she sat down, Bimala went ashy pale. She, too, must have realized what a crisis had come and gone, leaving her unscathed.
All the sins of the country will now break out, hideous and unashamed." "Who do you think could have ..." "Don't ask me. But sin is rampant. Send them all away, right away from here." "I have given them one more day. They will be leaving the day after tomorrow." "And another thing. Take Bimala away to Calcutta.
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