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A dead ass, before we had got a league, put a sudden stop to La Fleur's career; his bidet would not pass by it, a contention arose betwixt them, and the poor fellow was kick'd out of his jack- boots the very first kick. La Fleur bore his fall like a French Christian, saying neither more nor less upon it, than Diable!
So presently got up, and came to the charge again astride his bidet, beating him up to it as he would have beat his drum. The bidet flew from one side of the road to the other, then back again, then this way, then that way, and in short, every way but by the dead ass: La Fleur insisted upon the thing and the bidet threw him. What's the matter, La Fleur, said I, with this bidet of thine?
Whether the bath be hot or cold, the treatment should continue from ten to fifteen minutes, and after it the skin should be thoroughly dried. A special form of tub, called a "bidet," has been devised to facilitate bathing the parts in question. The device is convenient but expensive, and is certainly not essential.
My darling mistress then used her bidet and told me to lave my parts in the basin, as it was not only cool and refreshing, but also reinvigorating. After which as it was now broad daylight, she allowed me to pose her, and turn her in every position, that I might admire and handle every part of her superb form.
Its postillion in frizzed and powdered hair, under a cocked hat, with a long queue on his back and in great boots, hooped with iron, rode a lively little bidet. Such was the French stagecoach of those days, its running gear having been planned with an eye to economy, since vehicles were taxed according to the number of their wheels.
In the last of these two cities, far enough from the coast to prevent any one guessing that D'Artagnan wished to reach the sea far enough from Paris to prevent all suspicion of his being a messenger from Louis XIV., whom D'Artagnan had called his sun, without suspecting that he who was only at present a rather poor star in the heaven of royalty, would, one day, make that star his emblem; the messenger of Louis XIV., we say, quitted the post and purchased a bidet of the meanest appearance, one of those animals which an officer of cavalry would never choose, for fear of being disgraced.
"Ve; what are those by you, Mr Peters?" inquired the lady in continuation. "I really cannot exactly say; but they are fritters of some sort." "Let me see hoh! bidet du poms. Madame, will you eat some bidet du poms?" "Comment, madame, je ne vous comprends pas " "Ve." "Monsieur Tagliabue, expliquez donc;" said the foreign lady, red as a quarter of beef.
Nothing more that is worthy of Mention took place until our leaving Paris. We came away in a calash, that is, my Master and the Chaplain, riding at their Ease in that vehicle, while I trotted behind on a little Bidet, and posted it through St. Denis to Beauvais.
"Ce Smiley avait une jument que les gars appelaient le bidet du quart d'heure, mais seulement pour plaisanter, vous comprenez, parse que, bien entendu, elle etait plus vite que ca! Et il avait coutume de gagner de l'argent avec cette bete, quoi-qu'elle fut poussive, cornarde, toujours prise d'asthme, de colique ou de consomption, ou de quelque chose d'approchant.
She rose at last and closed the door, turning the key upon her husband. She then approached the bidet to purify herself, but I bounded from the closet, seized her in my arms, dashed her back on the bed and immediately glued my lips to her glowing and foaming cunt, with all the froth and spending of her husband oozing out.
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