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Updated: July 13, 2025
The detectives also seemed to regard it as nothing out of the common, and as to the saloon-keeper, so much worse things wuz happenin' all the time in his profession, so much worse crimes, that he and his rich pardner, the American Govermunt, sees goin' on all the time in their countless places of bizness, murders, suicides, etc., that they evidently seemed to consider this a very commonplace affair; and so of the other house kep' by the two pardners, the brazen-faced old hag and Christian America, there, too, so many more terrible things wuz occurrin' all the time that this wuz a very tame thing to talk about.
"Sez Josiah: 'Why do we want our pleasant woods and fields turned into noisy bedlams by the whirrin' of wheels, creakin' of engines and the roar and smoke and dust of traffick? Spozein' we should make more money and dress better and own more books; money hain't everything in life, nor hustlin' in bizness; peace and comfort and mindin' your own bizness is sunthin'.
"'Do they know whar the Injun got the picter? says he, sudden like. "'Not yit, says I, 'but I'm thinkin' they'll find out. "'How? says he. "'I don't know, says I, 'but sich things ginnerly come out in time. At that he laughed as if it was a huge joke. He's a deep one that, fer sure, an' sometimes I think he knows more about the whole bizness than he lets on.
They had their eyes peeled fer bizness, ye bet yer life." "Tell us, Sol, how they chose them," asked Perdue. "Sometimes by vote, either by ballot or show of hands." "Was it ever left to the chairman to appoint them?" continued Perdue. "I should think that's a much easier way, and I suggest that we do the same." "Hear, hear!" came the response. "Go ahead, Bill.
"Well, sir, the fust lootenant tells the chief buffer to 'ave the buoys bled, but it so 'appens that the doctor 'eard wot 'e said, so up 'e comes. 'Did I 'ear you tellin' the Chief Bos'un's Mate to 'ave the boys bled? he arsks. 'You did indeed, Sawbones, Number One tells 'im. 'But surely that's my bizness? sez the doctor. 'Your bizness! sez Number One, frownin' like.
"I know him, and I know all of you." "But ef they is a trap sot," continued Teague, ignoring Sis's tears, "ef they is, I tell you, honey, a thousau' folks like me can't hol' the boys down. The time 'a done come when they er teetotally wore out with thish 'ere sneakin' aroun' an' hidin'-out bizness." This appeared to end the conversation, but it left Woodward considerably puzzled.
Sez he, "Hundreds of folks take sand baths, lay in the sand and throw it at each other, cover themselves up in it." "What for?" I sez. "Oh, jest for fun. They'll go into the water mebby, and then come ashore and roll and tumble in the sand, men, wimmen, and children, mostly foreigners," sez he. I sez, "It don't seem as if Josiah would go into that bizness; he always despised sand."
We're workin' the historical racket for all that it's worth, ef we can't go back mor'n a hundred years or so, we kin rake in a Lord and a Lady when we do, and we're gettin' in some ole-fashioned spellin' and "methinkses" and "peradventures." We're doin' the religious bizness ez slick ez Robert Elsmere, and we find lots o' soul in folks and heaps o quaint morril characters, sez he."
Or is it my Spear to vote & speak & show myself the ekal of a man? Is there a sister in these keers that has her proper Spear?" Sayin which the eccentric female whirled her umbreller round several times, & finally jabbed me in the weskit with it. "I hav no objecshuns to your goin into the Spear bizness," sez I, "but you'll please remember I ain't a pickeril. Don't Spear me agin, if you please."
We can easily get old Sampson to kill him for his money, and that will save us from any further fear of his revealing our secret." "I don't like this bizness of killin'; 'taint human, no way you can fix it." "Come, Dick, don't make a fool of yourself. I want you to stand by me now, like a man."
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