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Updated: June 26, 2025
"And ye would try to force a man to break a vow made before the Lord?" "Yes! Andrew." "Ye would starve a man to death, murder him?" "No! but I would make him very uncomfortable. I would make him so hungry that he would almost hear the gnawing in his internals for meat, if I thought good would come of it." The man behind the door became furious. "Willum Auld!" "Yes! Andrew."
Anything short o' ten thousand, more or less. Do yer w'ust. Yours to command, "`Willum." There was no resisting such arguments. Mrs Stoutley smiled through her tears as she accepted the money. Captain Wopper rose, crammed the empty canvas bag into his pocket, and hastily retired, with portions of the bonnet attached to him.
"You see, out in the gold-fields of Californy, we had long nights together in our tent, with nothin' to do but smoke our pipes, eat our grub, and spin yarns, for we had no books nor papers, nothin' to read except a noo Testament, and we wouldn't have had even that, ma'am, but for yourself. It was the Testament you gave to Willum at partin', an' very fond of it he was, bein' your gift.
"He's got some money." Uncle William nodded toward the cliff. Andy looked. "He's poor as poverty. He's said so times enough." Uncle William smiled. "He's had luck quite a run o' luck. He's been sellin' picters three-four on 'em." "What's picters!" said Andrew, scornfully. He scrambled on to the wharf with a backward glance at the Andrew Halloran. "You won't buy no boat off o' picters, Willum.
"Ees, I seen 'em sure enough," says Willum, grasping a prong he carried, and preparing for action. The boys deny stoutly, and Willum is driven to admit that "if it worn't they 'twas chaps as like 'em as two peas'n;" and "leastways he'll swear he see'd them two in the yard last Martinmas," indicating East and Tom. Holmes has had time to meditate.
He was a-receivin' rayfusals f'r a new cabinet. "I have found th' thraitor," says I. "Hush!" says he. "If th' Impror Willum hears ye, he'll declare war," he says. I was stupefied. "Oh, my beloved counthry!" I cried. "Oh, hivin!" I cried. "What shall I do?" I cried. They was not a minyit to lose. I disbanded th' ar-rmy. I ordhered th' navy into dhry dock.
Says Willum J. Bryan: 'I can't see thim mesilf, f'r it may not be long befure I'll have to dale with these inthricate problems, I hope an' pray, but Congressman Squirtwather, do ye disguise ye'ersilf as a private citizen an' go down to th' hotel an' tell these la-ads that I'm with thim quietly if public opinyon justifies it an' Mack takes th' other side.
Willum keeps up his guard stoutly, but glances for a moment towards the voice. No guard will do it, Willum, without the eye. The shepherd steps round and strikes, and the point of his stick just grazes Willum's forehead, fetching off the skin, and the blood flows, and the umpire cries, "Hold!" and poor Willum's chance is up for the day.
"No,'tis no aisy job bein' a candydate, an' 'twud be no easy job if th' game iv photygraphs was th' on'y wan th' candydates had to play. Willum Jennings Bryan is photygraphed smilin' back at his smilin' corn fields, in a pair iv blue overalls with a scythe in his hand borrid fr'm th' company that's playin' 'Th' Ol' Homestead, at th' Lincoln Gran' Opry House.
Who says Brother Dutton ain't the man for the place? Is it you, Mr. Riley, I see raising your fist agin him? Oh, only to ax a question. Well, one thing at a time, Brother Riley. Does the meeting hendorse Mr. Willum Dutton for recording seckitary?" The meeting did, vociferously and with cheers. "Afore listening to the plans of our valued president," said Mr.
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