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Updated: May 11, 2025
Mr Arthur Fernlee Markam, who took what was known as the Red House above the Mains of Crooken, was a London merchant, and being essentially a cockney, thought it necessary when he went for the summer holidays to Scotland to provide an entire rig-out as a Highland chieftain, as manifested in chromolithographs and on the music-hall stage.
Donth make 'em dirty," suggested the shopman. "I must," said Harry Bennett, and talked about his own affairs. The rig-out and the wig did not arrive at Johnny's lodgings within the hour as promised, but arrived there within three hours, which was as much as Johnny had expected. It took Johnny nearly an hour to dress, but at last he stood before the plate-glass panel of the wardrobe transformed.
"Donth do thath!" said the shopman, coming up. "Juth been putting 'em together." "What the devil," said Harry Bennett, "is Johnny Bulstrode going to do with that rig-out?" "How thoud I know?" answered the shopman. "Private theathricals, I suppoth. Friend o' yourth?" "Yes," replied Harry Bennett. "By Jove! he ought to make a good girl. Should like to see it!" "Well arthk him for a ticket.
My "batman," who cleaned my boots and swept out the bunk, had his trousers held together with a huge safety-pin. The people called us "Kitchener's Rag-time Army." We became so torn, and worn, and ragged, that it was impossible to go out in the town. Being the only one in scout rig-out I drew much attention. "'Ere 'e comes, Moik-ell!" "Kitchener's cowboy! Isn't he lovely!" "Bejazus! so-it-is!"
"Burned up the old cabin!" moaned the engineer, "an' my Sunday rig-out in my locker, an' my Post Office Savings Bank book sewed up in the pillar o' my bunk, along o' my last week's wages what I 'adn't paid in." "I shouldn't wonder if Government 'ung on to they savings o' yourn," said the stoker, shaking his head. "It's a pity, but you'd invested yours as I 'ave mine," he added.
"Do you mean to tell me you haven't been giving my Selina money to buy new clothes for the young'uns?" he demanded, sharply. "Do you mean to tell me that Selina didn't get money out of you to buy herself and 'er mother and all of 'em except me a new rig-out from top to toe?" "D'ye think I've gone mad, or what?" inquired the amazed Mr. Tasker.
"'Champt'n! 'Champt'n!" cried out somebody with a cracked voice, and this sound approximating to the name of the place I was looking out for, combined with the fact that the engine began vigorously to blow off steam, I became convinced that I had arrived at my goal; so, out I got from the uncomfortable and cushionless carriage in which I had performed the toilsome journey, not forgetting, you may be sure, the box containing my grand rig-out of new clothes, which Aunt Matilda would not let me wear on the journey for fear, as she said, of my spoiling them.
Presently his farmer companion, casting a patronizing glance on Clarence's pea-jacket and brass buttons, said cheerily "Jest off a voyage, sonny?" "No, sir," stammered Clarence; "I came across the plains." "Then I reckon that's the rig-out for the crew of a prairie schooner, eh?" There was a laugh at this which perplexed Clarence.
I might have passed you in the street, and not even have said: 'God bless you. Oh! you've got a nice rig-out. You just look as if you had your sentry-box on your back; and they've cut your hair so short that folks might take you for the sexton's poodle. Good heavens! what a fright you are; what a fright!" Zephyrin, very indignant, now made up his mind to speak. "It's not my fault, that's sure!
"I can't, sir. I've expended all my money in buying clothes of this good lady here," explained Downy, pointing to the fat, old bumboat woman. "I hadn't a stitch to my back and had to get a rig-out for the voyage, sir." "Yes, sir, he's 'ad three shirts, as is twelve-and-six, and cheap at the price, too, sir," corroborated Mistress Poll Nash, with a low curtsey to the lieutenant.
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