I made what I considered a very clever remark: "Without an original there can be no imitation." Mr. Burwin- Fosselton said quite impertinently: "Don't discuss me in my presence, if you please; and, Mr. Pooter, I should advise you to talk about what you understand;" to which that cad Padge replied: "That's right." Dear Carrie saved the whole thing by suddenly saying: "I'll be Ellen Terry."

Gowing's eye out?" to which Padge replied: "That's right," and laughed more than ever. I think perhaps the greatest surprise was when we broke up, for Mr. Burwin-Fosselton said: "Good-night, Mr. Pooter. November 24. I went to town without a pocket-handkerchief. This is the second time I have done this during the last week. I must be losing my memory.

Womming, next door, will be pleased to accommodate you, but she cannot take you before Monday, as her rooms are engaged Bank Holiday week." The Unexpected Arrival Home of our Son, Willie Lupin Pooter. August 4. The first post brought a nice letter from our dear son Willie, acknowledging a trifling present which Carrie sent him, the day before yesterday being his twentieth birthday.

It had just struck half-past one, and I was on the point of leaving the office to have my dinner, when I received a message that Mr. Perkupp desired to see me at once. I must confess that my heart commenced to beat and I had most serious misgivings. Mr. Perkupp was in his room writing, and he said: "Take a seat, Mr. Pooter, I shall not be moment." I replied: "No, thank you, sir; I'll stand."

Franching, Mr. Hardfur Huttle, Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Hillbutter, Mrs. Field, Mr. and Mrs. Purdick, Mr. Pratt, Mr. R. Kent, and, last but not least, Mr. and Mrs. Charles Pooter. Franching said he was sorry he had no lady for me to take in to dinner. I replied that I preferred it, which I afterwards thought was a very uncomplimentary observation to make. I sat next to Mrs. Field at dinner.

I whispered: "Then show them into the parlour, and say Mr. Pooter will be down directly." I changed my coat, but could not see to do my hair, as Carrie was occupying the glass. Sarah came up, and said it was Mrs. Murray Posh and Mr. Lupin. This was quite a relief. I went down with Carrie, and Lupin met me with the remark: "I say, what did you run away from the window for? Did we frighten you?"

Perkupp; but as he did not send for me, and mentioned yesterday that he would see me again to- day, I thought it better, perhaps, to go to him. I knocked at his door, and on entering, Mr. Perkupp said: "Oh! it's you, Mr. Pooter; do you want to see me?" I said: "No, sir, I thought you wanted to see me!" "Oh!" he replied, "I remember. Well, I am very busy to-day; I will see you to-morrow."

I said slowly, as I turned up the gas: "This is the last of this nonsense that shall ever take place under my roof. I regret I permitted myself to be a party to such tomfoolery. If there is anything in it which I doubt it is nothing of any good, and I WON'T HAVE IT AGAIN. That is enough." Mrs. James said: "I think, Mr. Pooter, you are rather over- stepping " I said: "Hush, madam.

"Our lives run in different grooves. Your life in the City is honourable, I admit. BUT HOW DIFFERENT! Cannot even you see the ocean between us? A channel that prevents the meeting of our brains in harmonious accord. Ah! But chacun a son gout. "I have registered a vow to mount the steps of fame. "But, Mr. Pooter, let me ask you, 'What is the difference between the amateur and the professional?

I was just moving with Carrie, when Farmerson seized me rather roughly by the collar, and addressing the sheriff, said: "Let me introduce my neighbour, Pooter." He did not even say "Mister." The sheriff handed me a glass of champagne. I felt, after all, it was a great honour to drink a glass of wine with him, and I told him so.