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Ye catch th' wurruds, 'Grape Pie, 'Canned Salmon, 'Cast-iron digestion. Still he doesn't come up. He tells a few stories to th' childher. He weighs th' youngest in his hands an' says: 'That's a fine boy ye have, Mrs. Hinnissy. I make no doubt he'll grow up to be a polisman. He examines th' phottygraft album an' asks if that isn't so-an'-so.
Thim nickels ye dhropped in are all in th' dhrawer iv that there table, an' to-morrow mornin' ye may see me havin' me hair cut be means iv thim. An' I'll tell ye wan thing, Jawn McKenna, an' that's not two things, that if ye think ye can come up here to Ar-rchey Road an' rob an honest man, by gar, ye've made th' mistake iv ye'er life. Goowan, now, before I call a polisman." Mr.
Thim that takes two goes on th' comity iv th' wave iv rayform. "It sthruck th' r-road las' week. Darcey, th' new polisman on th' bate, comes in here ivry night f'r to study spellin' an' figgers. I think they'll throw him down, whin he goes to be examined. Wan iv th' wild la-ads down be th' slough hit him with a brick wanst, an' he ain't been able to do fractions since.
Thin they was Terrence, a big, bould, curly-headed lad that cocked his hat at anny man, or woman f'r th' matter iv that, an' that bruk th' back iv a polisman an' swum to th' crib, an' was champeen iv th' South Side at hand ball. An' he wint. Thin th' good woman passed away.
If a man hasna' peace in his mind it'll mak' him nasty, an' we canna' allow sic a thing as a nasty polisman in this district!" "That's richt, Tam," said one of the younger men. "It would be a shame to see a woman an' twa-three weans sittin' withoot a fire an' a great big bing o' coal lyin' doon there at the pit. We maun try an' keep the polisman comfortable."
'But there's wan thing missin' fr'm Molly's playing', he says. 'And what may that be? says Mrs. Donahue. 'An ax, says Slavin, backin' out. "So Donahue has took to dhrink." "Jawn," said Mr. Dooley, "'tis a gr-reat thing to be a polisman. Me frind Doheny, what used to be at Deerin' Sthreet, have got on th' crossin' an' they've planted him down be th' Audjitooroom.
'Snowball, says I. 'Step inside this dureway, says I, 'less Clancy, th' polisman on th' corner, takes me f'r an octoroon, I says. 'What ar-re ye do-in'? says I. 'How did ye enjye th' prisidincy? says I. He laughed an' told me th' story iv his life. He wint to practisin' law an' found his on'y clients was coons, an' they had no assets but their vote at th' prim'ry.
"'I defer to th' ar-rmy whose honor is beyond reproach, says th' polisman, 'or recognition, he says. 'Veev l'army! he says. "'Thank ye, says Gin'ral Bellow, salutin'. 'I will do me jooty. Man can do no more, he says. 'Jools, he says, 'surrinder, he says. 'Ye cannot longer hol' out, he says. 'Ye have provisions on'y f'r eight years.
Ivry copper belted an Orangey; an' a sergeant named Donahue wint through a whole lodge, armed on'y, Jawn, with a clarinet an' wan cymbal. He did so. An' Morgan Dempsey, th' cute divvle, he sthood by, an' encouraged both sides. F'r, next to an Orangey, he likes to see a polisman kilt. That ended wan Orangey parade. "Not that I think it was right.
"I thought me frind Casey 'd be taken up f'r histin' a polisman f'r sure, though, to be fair with him, I niver knowed him to do but wan arnychist thing, and that was to make faces at Willum Joyce because he lived in a two-story an' bay-window brick house. Doolan said that was goin' too far, because Willum Joyce usually had th' price. Wan day Casey disappeared, an' I heerd he was married.
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