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Updated: June 21, 2025
Where would you find pleasanter thin MacGeoghegan or McGroarty or Magillacuddy? There was a polisman in our town by the name of McGuffin. I always thought it real pleasant." "Sure what would be on the little girl? 'tis Miss Nelly, I mean," said Pat, in a manner that showed his real anxiety. "She scared me, so she did, with her nonsense, that Gladys.
Thin he chats f'r two hundherd years with th' polisman on th' beat. He tells him a good story an' they laugh harshly. "Whin th' polisman goes his way th' Dock meets th' good woman at th' dure an' they exchange a few wurruds about th' weather, th' bad condition iv th' sthreets, th' health iv Mary Ann since she had th' croup an' ye'ersilf.
'Whose fun'ral ar-re ye goin' to at this hour? 'None but thim I makes mesilf, says he. 'What d'ye mean? says th' ol' man. 'I'm goin' over f'r to stand guard in th' thracks, says th' la-ad. Well, with that th' ol' man leaps up. 'Polisman, he says. 'Polisman, he says. 'Copper, he says. 'Twas on'y be Mrs.
His cousin Darcey had th' shootin' gallery privilege, an' he done a business th' like iv which was niver knowed be puttin' up th' figure iv an Irish polisman f'r th' la-ads to shoot at. 'Twas bad in th' end though, f'r a gang iv Tipp'rary lads come along behind th' tent an' begun thrown stones at th' copper.
Prosperity grabs ivry man be th' neck, an' sets him shovellin' slag or coke or runnin' up an' down a ladder with a hod iv mortar. It won't let th' wurruld rest. If Humanity 'd been victoryous, no wan 'd iver have to do a lick again to th' end iv his days. But Prosperity's a horse iv another color. It goes round like a polisman givin' th' hot fut to happy people that are snoozin' in th' sun.
'Major, says they, 'we're insthructed be th' organization to ascertain ye'er views on th' important, we may say all-important, question iv havin' wire matthresses put on th' benches in th' parks. Are we, they says, 'goin' f'r to have to wear lumps on our backs into all eternity, they says, 'an' have our slumbers broke be th' hot fut iv th' polisman? they says.
Th' Prisidint writes to th' Gov'nor, th' Gov'nor requests th' Sheriff, th' Sheriff speaks to th' Mayor, th' Mayor desires th' Chief iv Polis, th' Chief iv Polis ordhers th' polisman on th' beat, an' th' polisman on th' beat commands me to take me alarmin' visage out iv th' public view. Suppose I go down to see me counsel, Barrister Hogan.
If ye knew annything, ye'd not have an opinyon wan way or th' other. They'se niver been a matther come up in my time that th' American people was so sure about as they ar-re about th' Dhryfliss case. Th' Frinch ar-re not so sure, but they'se not a polisman in this counthry that can't tell ye jus' where Dhry-russ was whin th' remains iv th' poor girl was found. That's because th' thrile was secret.
'What's this man charged with? says th' coort. 'He was found in possession iv tin millyon dollars, says th' polisman. An' th' judge puts on th' black cap." "Well," said Mr. Hennessy, "'tis time they got what was comin' to thim." "I'll not say ye're wrong," said Mr. Dooley. "I see th' way me frind Jawn D. feels about it.
An' I hist him on his horse an' ask a polisman to show him th' way home." "Be hivins, Hinnissy, I want me advice up-to-date, an' whin Mack an' Willum Jennings tells me what George Wash'nton an' Thomas Jefferson said, I says to thim: 'Gintlemen, they larned their thrade befure th' days iv open plumbin', I says.
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