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Updated: July 9, 2025
"Powerful interestin'? O' course it is! There ain't nobody's story wot ain't interestin', if ye onny knows it. An' it's all six-an'- twenty year agone now; but I can see th' owld Squire still, an' the nurse walkin' slow up an' down by the border of the field, hushin' the baby to sleep.
"No, sir, there ain't no ladies there, 'cept Miss Tabitha, onny some London gents, and Sir Morton, 'e flew into an orful passion like 'e do, sir, an' told us to leave off singin' and git out, 'Git off my ground, he 'ollers 'Git off! then jest as we was a gittin' off, he cools down suddint like, an' 'e sez, sez 'e: 'Take a note to the dam passon for me, an' bring a harnser, an' I'll give yer somethink when yer gits back. An' all the gents was a-sittin' at breakfast, with the winders wide open an' the smell of 'am an' eggs comin' through strong, an' they larfed fit to split theirselves, an' one on 'em tried to kiss Kitty Spruce, an' she spanked his face for 'im!"
Onny Passon he be a rare good man, and he do speak to the 'art of ye so wise-like and quiet, and that's why I goes to hear him and sez the prayers wot's writ for me to say and doos as he asks me to do. But if I'd been unfort'nit enough to live in the parish of Badsworth under that old liar Leveson, I'd a put my fist in his jelly face 'fore I'd a listened to a word he had to say!
"But, lor, if you could only know what a pain it gives me in the 'ed to work the portry out of it, ye wouldn't wonder at my preparin' ye, as 'twere. Onny I wishes ye just to understand that it'll all be done for love an' no charge." Mary thanked him smiling, yet with tears in her eyes, and he strolled away down the street in his usual slow and somewhat casual manner.
If wot they all sez is true, there'll be a weddin' 'ere soon, Passon'll marry Miss Vancourt to the future Dook, an' away they'll go, an' Abbot's Manor'll be shut up again as it used to afore. An' the onny change we'll 'ave will be Mr. Stanways for agent 'stead of Oliver Leach which is a blessin' for Stanways is a decent, kindly man, an' Oliver Leach well now!"
"Os ye win, mother," he said in an altered tone. After a pause, employed in eating, he added, "Did Mistress Nutter put onny questions to ye about Alizon?" "More nor enough, lad," replied Elizabeth; "fo what had ey to tell her? She praised her beauty, an said how unlike she wur to Jennet an thee, lad ha! ha! An wondert how ey cum to ha such a dowter, an monny other things besoide.
If 'tworn't Sunday, I'd tell 'im now, but it's onny fair he should 'ave a bit o' peace on the seventh day like the rest of us. He'll be fair mazed like when he knows it, ay! and I shouldn't wonder if he gave Oliver Leach a bit of 'is mind.
Then just before the horn sounded for supper, a knock came at the door. "Come in!" called Anne, buttoning her white suede boots. "'S onny me. Ah jes' wanta ast you-all ef it is right in city sassiety, fur a widder of six months' standin' t' go t' a party whar onny old frien's will be. Thar won't be no sky-larkin' er high-jinks, yo' know!"
As Ratzger sighed, Jeb remarked philosophically: "Ef you-all'd rather be sittin' at home than a galavantin' round places where money kin be found, Ah b'lieves it's the onny reason you-all is spared whiles your friend is locooed." Ratzger had never heard the term "locooed" so he was not quite sure what Jeb meant.
Farmer Thorpe looked impressed, but slightly puzzled. "You sez fine, Mr. Netlips, you sez fine," he observed respectfully. "Not that I altogether understands ye, but that's onny my want of book-larnin' and not spellin' through the dictionary as I oughter when I was a youngster. Howsomever I makes bold to guess wot you're drivin' at and I dessay you may be right.
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