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Updated: June 11, 2025
Many such there be now wantoning among us, and the head and chief of them all is perhaps the most popular numskull in Al-Kyris, . . the Poet, bah! ... let us say the braying Jack-ass in office, the laurelled Sah-luma!" Theos gave an indignant start, the hot color flushed his brows, . . then he restrained himself by an effort.
I am in love with her, I grant you; anybody would be, with eyes in his head. Don't I know that I would amount to twice as much if the society of women formed part of my life? Numskull, it does form part of it, a very important part. In the first place, I have my patients. Body of me, my patients! Did I not sit a stricken hour with Mrs. Abigail Plummer yesterday afternoon?
See, here they are, for she herself brought them to me, weeping; look if thou knowest them. The gentleman feigned to be sore abashed and answered, 'Yes, I do indeed know them and I confess to you that I did ill; but I swear to you, since I see her thus disposed, that you shall never more hear a word of this. Brief, after many words, the numskull of a friar gave his friend the purse and the girdle and dismissed him, after rating him amain and beseeching him occupy himself no more with these follies, the which he promised him.
"Thar, I've got him out of the way!" said Captain Neb, as Brother Bart hurried back to watch over his scattered flock. "Now look, Neb, look steady and straight! Three points to the south of Numskull Nob, what d'ye see?" "Nothing at all," answered Neb. "Look again!" His brother adjusted the old shipmaster's glass with a hand that trembled strangely. "Another point to the south.
So I slipped back the one I had, and when she got done counting, she says: "Hang the troublesome rubbage, ther's TEN now!" and she looked huffy and bothered both. But Tom says: "Why, Aunty, I don't think there's ten." "You numskull, didn't you see me COUNT 'm?" "I know, but " "Well, I'll count 'm AGAIN." So I smouched one, and they come out nine, same as the other time.
I made the third, but I sang different words thus: "Pater Emilian, oh! thou numskull" sotto voce to my cousin; then we laughed on for at least half an hour. The Pater said to me, "If we only could be longer together, we could discuss the art of musical composition." "In that case," said I, "our discussion would soon come to an end." A famous rap on the knuckles for him! Augsburg, Oct. 23, 1777.
All this village is very much pleased that your ladyship has made a governor of my good man Sancho; though nobody will believe it, particularly the curate, and Master Nicholas the barber, and the bachelor Samson Carrasco; but I don't care for that, for so long as it is true, as it is, they may all say what they like; though, to tell the truth, if the coral beads and the suit had not come I would not have believed it either; for in this village everybody thinks my husband a numskull, and except for governing a flock of goats, they cannot fancy what sort of government he can be fit for.
"Look here, my good sir," said Sancho; "either I'm a numskull or else there is the same reason for this passenger dying as for his living and passing over the bridge; for if the truth saves him the falsehood equally condemns him; and that being the case it is my opinion you should say to the gentlemen who sent you to me that as the arguments for condemning him and for absolving him are exactly balanced, they should let him pass freely, as it is always more praiseworthy to do good than to do evil; this I would give signed with my name if I knew how to sign; and what I have said in this case is not out of my own head, but one of the many precepts my master Don Quixote gave me the night before I left to become governor of this island, that came into my mind, and it was this, that when there was any doubt about the justice of a case I should lean to mercy; and it is God's will that I should recollect it now, for it fits this case as if it was made for it."
In like manner did this numskull act; for, whilst journeying over the world, on hearing two wenches talking of walking round the church at night, in order to see their sweethearts, he must needs show himself in the figure he wears at home, to the two fools, who on recovering their senses, which at first they lost from fright, solemnly abjured all frivolity for ever.
"Stuff and deception! Impudent flirting is what she is fond of, as long as she can get a good-for-naught like you, or an old numskull like that Tippengray, to play her tricks on." Now Lanigan Beam braced himself for action. This sort of thing would not do; whatever she might say or think about the rest of the world, Calthea must not look with disfavor on the Greek scholar. "Numskull!" said he.
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