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Updated: June 27, 2025
They were all iniquitous. If k-n-i-f-e spelled knife, then, he contended, k-n-i-f-e-s was the plural. Diverting tags, written by his own hand in conformity with this theory, were always attached to articles in his shop window. He is long since ded, as he himself would have put it, but his phonetic theory appears to have survived him in crankish brains here and there.
Sept. 26. i went to church today. they issent enny fun sundays. Sept. 27, 186- Brite and fair. today we was playing football at school and Whacker got rooted agenst Colbaths barn and hit his head whack and fell down jest as if he was ded, and old Francis came running out and grabed him up and put water on his head and then he waked up and was all rite but he had a headake. Sept. 28. Sept. 29.
Do to me wot you will, you dirty dogs, I will never surrender. Soner will I die. "One crule brute hit him a blo on the lips and he sprang back, snarling with rage. In less time than wot it takes to rite this he had sprang at his torturer's throte and his teeth met in one mighty bite. His torturer dropped ded and lifless at his feet.
"I'm a shootin' at that Yank thar by the Dead Line, and by if you'uns don't take him in I'll blow the whole head offn him." "What Yank? Where's any Yank?" "Why, thar right thar a-standin' agin the Ded Line." "Why, you Rebel fool, that's a chunk of wood. You can't get any furlough for shooting that!"
I got as far as walking arm-a-crook weth a chap wance, and, thought I, 'I won't go for to ask he to step in till I do know if he can dance wi' I. Some trouble I ded have keepen' he quiet till there was a gala and us could dance. Primitive Wesleyan, the gala was. He was all for me maken' up my mind long before, and I wouldn' have un till I knew, nor yet I wouldn' let un go.
Two years ago comin this May, I had a 'tack of fever-'n-ager, and by the advice of Miss Peasley who continues single and is correspondinly unhappy in the same ratios I consulted a Spiritul mejum a writin' mejum. I got a letter from a cel'brated Injin chief, who writ me, accordin to the mejum, that he'd been ded two hundred and seventeen years, and liked it.
A Lively Dance for a "ded Mon." Rocky Mountain Sheep. A Description of them. The Wild Ox. Not a Success as Lazadors. An Exciting Chase. Tit for Tat. The Boys worsted. Mountain Dew. Patsey pronounces. The Buckskin Suit. The Old Mission. Arrival at Tucson. Hal's Trade. The New Mule. A Storm. Patsey's Ride. A Laughable Adventure. We start at last. The Pimo Indians. Manners and Manufactures.
"Well, after a while, sah, thar wan't no mor' noise, an' I reckoned I'd either done hit yer er else ye'd run away. An' thar ye wus, sah, a lyin' on yer back like ye wus ded. Just so soon as I saw ye, I know'd as how ye never wus no nigger-hunter, but a stranger in des yere parts. So I dragged ye inside de cabin, an' washed up yer hurts.
What made him die, anne, I want to know. mrs. lynde threw him into the pig pen she mite of sold him to mr. blair. mr. blair is giving 50 sense apeace for good ded roosters now. I herd mrs. lynde asking the minister to pray for her. What did she do that was so bad, anne, I want to know. I've got a kite with a magnificent tail, anne.
Aftre began he for to wexe wyse and riche; and he was a gret astronomer: and aftre he was governour and prince of the lond of Cozrodane; and he governed it fully wisely, in suche manere, that whan the prince was ded, he toke the lady to wyfe, that highte Gadridge.
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