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Updated: May 21, 2025
Verily, in this state and condition of the woman is also some pleasure to be found, for you may keep your wife now very cheap; she is not now so liquorish and sweet-tooth'd, as when she was with Child; which in deed is very good at all times, but most especially in this pittifull time for there's now nothing fitter for her to eat then a little good broth, stew'd Prunes, Caudle, Water-gruel, roasted Apples, or new laid Egs.
Yes, that's right: throw it in my teeth that it was my choice that's manly, isn't it? When I saw the place the sun was out, and it looked beautiful now, it's quite another thing. No, Mr. Caudle; I don't expect you to command the sun, and if you talk about Joshua in that infidel way, I'll leave the bed. No, sir; I don't expect the sun to be in your power; but that's nothing to do with it.
You were not at dear mother's, though you know she's not well, and you know she thinks of leaving the dear children her money; but you never had any feeling for anybody belonging to me. And you were not at your Club: no, I know that. And you were not at any theatre. "Ha, Mr. Caudle! I only wish I didn't know. No; you were not at any of these places; but I know well enough where you were.
When I was young-oh! for a maiden to know anything then oh! it was general reprobation. No one thought of confessing it. We blushed and held down our eyes at the very idea. Well, the Electress! she was you must guess. So she called for her caudle at eleven o'clock at night. What do you think that was? Well, there was spirit in it: not to say nutmeg, and lemon, and peach kernels.
Betty, at Clarissa's request, superintended the placing of the card-tables, and also that of a huge silver salver, on which the tiny cups for chocolate and the tall glasses for mulled wine would be served from a table in the dining-room early in the evening before supper; also a famous bowl of Indian china, where hot caudle would appear, caudle being an English compound with which Betty was not familiar.
Now, don't grunt, Mr. Caudle, but speak out. You'll keep your wedding-day? What? "Ha! that's unmanly, Caudle. Can't you say 'Yes, without anything else? I say can't you say 'Yes'? There, bless you! I knew you would. "And now, Caudle, what shall we have for dinner? No we won't talk of it to-morrow; we'll talk of it now, and then it will be off my mind.
No, no, Caudle; I'm by no means a selfish woman quite the contrary; I love my fellow-creatures as a wife and mother of a family, who has only to look to her own husband and children, ought to love 'em. "A 'brother, indeed! What would you say, if I was to go and be made a 'sister'? Why, I know very well the house wouldn't hold you. "How should I know where your watch is? You ought to know.
"And I wonder what would become of the children if I did! No; it's enough for their father to lose his precious time, talking about politics, and bishops, and lords, and a pack of people who wouldn't care a pin if we hadn't a roof to cover us it's well enough for no, Caudle, no: I'm not going to worry you; I never worried you yet, and it isn't likely I should begin now.
"I've told you to save you from ruin, Mr. Caudle. "Ha! you don't know anything when you're out! I know what they do at those public dinners charities, they call 'em; pretty charities! True Charity, I believe, always dines at home. I know what they do: the whole system's a trick.
You're to go to Greenwich Fair, and race up and down the hill, and play at kiss in the ring. Pah! it's disgusting, Mr. Caudle. Oh, I dare say you DID play at it; if you didn't, you'd have liked, and that's just as bad; and you can go into swings, and shows, and roundabouts. If I was you, I should hide my head under the clothes and be ashamed of myself.
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