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Blumenthal sat alone in the orchestra, and I summoned all my resolution, and then, frightened and ashamed and desperate, I sang the "Sehnsucht," following it with what Cadge calls a "good yelling song" to show the power of my voice.
The world has a right to know about me; and I don't suppose Aunt had an idea how grievously Cadge was disappointed. No sooner had Cadge left us than Mr. Bellmer, pink and stammering in my presence, and after him the General, called to inquire for me. It was wonderful to see the change in the strong, self-confident girl's manner.
One only thought spurred me on, to forget past, present and future; to buy forgetfulness by any caprice; to win diversion by any adventure. After some time I saw that I was in a side street whose number seemed familiar; self-searching at last recalled to me that on this street lived two rival faith healers, about whose lively competition for clients Cadge had once told us girls a funny story.
It's the fortune of war. I don't want you to go about feeling that you've blighted my life, and so on, and dashing up side-streets to avoid me because you think the sight of you will be painful. As it isn't me, I'm jolly glad it's you; and I shall cadge a seat in the pavilion from you when you're playing for England at the Oval. Congratulate you."
But awe and Cadge could not long live together. In a moment her mouth took a comically benevolent quirk. "And 'among those present' " she asked; "who was that leaving just as I got here?" "Mrs. Robert Van Dam, schoolmate of my cousins. But you're not writing me up, Cadge?" Cadge whistled. "Van Dam! How calmly the giddy child says it! Does your youngest cousin make mud pies with duchesses?
The following Monday Cadge overslept; Tuesday found him with a headache as a result, which by Wednesday had settled in a tooth; Thursday he felt so much better that he feared to do anything which might check his convalescence; Friday was an unlucky day, but so desirous was he of work that he manfully conquered his superstitious qualms and strolled over to the little shop where Mr.
But I'm glad to see ye lookin' brighter'n you did yist'day, Sissy; Tim'thy's wife'll have an eye on ye. She's comin' here agin to-morrer, she says, to a weddin'. You didn't tell me 'bout any one gittin' married not in sich a hurry, not to-morrer. W'ich gal is it?" "Wouldn't think it was Cadge, would you?" laughed Kitty, staggering into the room under the weight of a big palm.
Henry and Peggy were here, smiling on Mr. Poultney, Strathay's cousin. Oh, I'm useful! I believe Mrs. Marmaduke is the only Van Dam who's kind to me without a motive; they're not Knickerbockers at all, as I supposed. Cadge is right; I gain nothing socially by remaining with Meg; and her guesses come too close to my heart's sorrow.
She was to live with us for a time and care for Nelly. But when I reached the office, there lay on my desk a telegram. "Helen is ill; come," it read. Cadge met me at the studio door, white-faced, strangely, silently gentle. From a tumbled heap among the cushions of the tepee came a voice like Kitty's, moaning. Cadge tried to speak, but could only point to the little bedroom.
And I actually did get $50 for digging out of the text books an essay on Rats as Disseminators of Bubonic Plague; they only used a little of it, but the pictures and the signature and the nonsense about me as a scientist were the real thing, Cadge said. The money, the money, the money was the real thing to me!
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