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Updated: June 9, 2025
I had just scrambled up the bank and shaken myself, when up came Uncle Kit and Johnnie, who had heard the report of my gun and had come to see whether or not I had killed anything. "Rather cold to go bathing," said Uncle Kit. "When I go bathin' I allus pull off my buckskin suit."
But Birdie fell upon him with a strong denial. "Bath?" she cried. "Gee! you do run on. Guess you want to hand 'em newmony. Kids sure don't never need bathin'. Jest a lick with soap an' hot water once a week. An' say," she went on, suddenly remembering something she had told Toby in a fit of mischief, "kep their food soft, or you'll break their young teeth."
He paused and glanced nervously round at the friendly faces. Then, with evident anxiety, he hurried on. "I was just thinkin'," he exclaimed, "maybe some hot coffee wouldn't come amiss. Y'see, I ain't no rye. Guess I'll make that coffee right away. I got water cooking on the stove. I was goin' to use it for bathin' the kids, but " His visitors exchanged swift glances, and Sunny broke in.
'Tis not too often I take a bath, Mike, but if I was wan of thim spongy-hided dongolas an' had t' be varnished each time I got in me bath tub, I would stop bathin' for good an' all." He looked toward the house. "I'll not worry," he said. "Maggie will be sad t' hear th' job is gone, but she would have took it harder t' know her Tim was wastin' his time varnishin' th' slab side of a spongy goat."
Well, no one could say what was gone wi' him; only this, that his hat was found by the lake, under a haathorn that grows thar to this day, and 'twas thought he was drowned bathin'. And the squire's son, by his second marriage, with this Madam Crowl that lived sa dreadful lang, came in far the estates.
"Not wery partiklarly so," returned Redhair; "but I do obsarve that your boots tell of country roads. Was it a long way hout of town as you was bathin' this forenoon, now?"
Sunny, you best pile up them washin' fixin's that hand-scrubber, the soap, that wash-flannel an' the towels. Guess that's the nighest you'll ever come to bathin' yourself. Sandy Joyce ken carry the hot water, an', if Zip's yaller pup gets around, see you don't scald him any. Guess I'll handle these yer dippers. That way Zip'll be free to take the kids along.
Little things like bein' on the payroll or not wa'n't botherin' him then. He gives me a bone crushin' grip and swings out to the elevator in a rush; for he's been away from Sis nearly half an hour now. Exceptin' a picture postcard or two, showin' the iron pier and a bathin' scene, I didn't hear from Mr. and Mrs. Mallory for more'n a week.
I said nothing, even to Mother, about the happenings in the bay, and Dorinda, who had asked many sarcastic questions concerning the state of my blue trousers if I had "mistook 'em for a bathin' suit" and the like seemed satisfied with my hurried explanation that I had gotten overboard. "Though how you fell in feet fust," she observed, "I don't see."
It is a old custom, comin' from so fur back that nobody knows what monarch it wuz and whose feet they wuz, and whether they needed washin' or not. But I presoom they wuz middlin' clean; they be now anyway, and the Emperor doesn't do it for bathin' purposes or to help corns, but it is a religious custom. Robert explained it all out to me so plain that I almost seemed to see it myself.
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