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I knew, after I had seen you, that I couldn't marry him! Isn't that enough?" He drew in his breath deeply. "I should be less than a man if I refused to take you, Alison. And no matter what happens, I can and will find some honest work to support you. But oh, my dear, when I think of it, the nobility and generosity of what you have done appalls me." "No, no!" she protested, "you mustn't say that!
"Evan, when you talk about four hundred clerks, and multiply that by hundreds of houses and more hundreds of clerks, I cannot follow you at all. It is not that I am not impressed with the number, I am, it appalls me; but I don't want to be appalled; I want to be helpful.
I could not be content to sit on my doorstep and smoke my pipe and watch the wheat and corn grow. And then, this life of the borderman, environed as it is by untold dangers, leads me, fascinates me, and yet appalls me with the fear that here I shall fall a victim to an Indian's bullet or spear, and find a nameless grave." A long silence ensued.
"I don't know whether the situation appalls you, as much as it does me if I don't get this off my chest now, David, I can't do it at all but the thought of that poor little waif in there and the struggle she's had, and the shy valiant spirit of her, the sand that she's got, the sand that put her through and kept her mouth shut through experiences that might easily have killed her, why I feel as if I'd give anything I had in the world to make it up to her, and yet I'm not altogether sure that I could that we could that it's any of our business to try it."
The trouble is," he lifted his glass and glanced at it, "the trouble is that suicide of this sort is so easy. I am soft and tender. The thought of the long day's travel with the dogs appalls me; the thought of the keen frost in the morning and of the frozen sled-lashings frightens me " Automatically the glass was creeping toward his lips.
Some women are fortunate enough to have anticipated their husbands, and they then have the quarrel as a sort of justification. Nervous women give way to a burst of passion and commit acts of violence. Women of mild temper assume a decided tone which appalls the most intrepid husbands. Those who have no vengeance ready shed a great many tears. Those who love you forgive you.
Sir, I know not what you have to say, what mystery in your immaculate life to disclose; but unless Lady Doltimore, whom your violence appalls and terrifies, orders me to quit her roof, it is not I, it is yourself, who are the intruder! Lady Doltimore, with your permission, I will direct your servants to conduct this gentleman to his carriage!"
He likes it, I know by the satirical glimmer in his eye; therefore I continue. She adored you, of course?" "She loved me." "You will return and marry her?" "No." "Your depravity appalls me." "Did I volunteer its discovery?" "I demand it now. You left this girl believing that you adored her?" "She knew I was fond of her." "The parting was tender?" "On her part." "Iceberg! She wept in your arms?"
Every one may remark what a hope animates the eyes of any circle, when it is reported or even confidently asserted, that Sir Robert Peel has in his mind privately resolved to go, one day, into that stable of King Augeas, which appalls human hearts, so rich is it, high-piled with the droppings of two hundred years; and Hercules-like to load a thousand night-wagons from it, and turn running water into it, and swash and shovel at it, and never leave it till the antique pavement, and real basis of the matter, show itself clean again!
You know I hate, detest, and can't bear a lie, not because I am straighter than the rest of us, but simply because it appalls me. There is a taint of death, a flavor of mortality in lies, which is exactly what I hate and detest in the world what I want to forget. It makes me miserable and sick, like biting something rotten would do. Temperament, I suppose.
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