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Updated: June 15, 2025
Then, after some tender bits of Greig, running from one to another, I suddenly stopped. The music had been talking too much to me. It said, over and over again: "Ambrosine, you love this man. He is beginning to absorb the whole of your life." And, again: "Life is short. This happiness will be over in a few moments. Live while you may." "Why do you stop, Comtesse?" asked Antony, in a moved voice.
I keep saying to myself when I hear him coming, "remember the caterpillar, caterpillar, caterpillar." And once in the beginning, when I was screwing up my eyes not to see, he got quite close before I knew and he heard me saying it aloud. He bounced away, thinking I meant there was one crawling on him, and then he got quite cross. "There are no caterpillars here, Ambrosine.
"At last I have found you, Ambrosine, sweetheart!" he said, and he clasped me in his arms and kissed my lips. Then I forgot Lady Tilchester and gratitude and honor and self-control, because in nature I find there is a stronger force than all these things, and that is the touch of the one we love. It was perhaps an hour afterwards. The shadows looked blue among the pine-trees.
"That is just it," I said, quite low. I felt too mean, I could not pretend I loved him. I must tell the truth, and then, if he would not have me me Ambrosine de Calincourt Athelstan! why, then, vulgarly dramatic or no, I should have to jump into the river to make things easy for grandmamma. "What is 'just it'?" he asked. "I do not love you." His face fell.
"Ambrosine," he interrupted, rudely, "I shall come and fetch you this evening for dinner, as you are too busy now to speak to me." "Very well," I said. Sir Antony rose, and we made a general good-bye. There was something disturbed in his face as if he had not said what he meant to. A sickening anger and disgust with fate made my hand cold. Oh! if Alas!
You are Ambrosine to me, or my dearest little Comtesse." The clock struck half-past six. The servants entered the room to take the tea-things away, and while they were there a footman brought in three telegrams, one for me and two for my host. Mine was from Augustus, and ran: "Hope you have arrived safely. Hear fog bad in country too. Impossible to get to Liverpool Street yet.
But surely, if we had known of this horror, even the Calincourts need not have kept their word to a drunken man! I did not hear the door open, but suddenly was conscious of Antony's voice. "Ambrosine, for God's sake don't cry so!" he whispered, hoarsely. I did not look up. "Oh, I want to thank you for your kindness," I sobbed, "but if you would continue it you will leave me now."
"Comtesse!" he began, when McGreggor knocked at the door. "Mr. Gurrage is calling you, ma'am," she said, in her heavy, Scotch voice, "and he seems in a hurry, ma'am." "Ambrosine!" echoed impatiently in the hall. "Why, it must be dressing-time!" said Antony, calmly, looking at his watch. "I must not keep you," and he quietly left the room as Augustus burst in from my bedroom door.
Miladi is sister to that amiable Marquis of Steyne, whom you have known, Ambrosine! Madame la Baronne de Schlangenbad, Miladi Kew. Do you not see the resemblance to milor? These ladies have enjoyed the hospitalities the splendours of Gaunt House. They were of those famous routs of which the charming Mistress Crawley, la semillante Becki, made part!
It was from Scylla to Charybdis, for I was led to one of the sitting-out places. So stupidly ignorant was I in the ways of balls that I did not realize that we should be practically alone, or I would have remained glued to the ballroom. However, before I knew it we were seated on a sofa behind a screen, in a subdued light. "Are you never going to give me a kiss, Ambrosine?"
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