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Updated: June 29, 2025
Well, I'll find out afore I sleep, or my name ain't Meg-Laundress, an' I say it. Guess Jane'll open her eyes when I up an' tells her how one them grand folks she sees crossin' the bridge so constant has got astray in the Lane an' come a visitin', actilly a visitin', one our own folks. But then, I always knowed, we Elbowers was a touch above some, an' now she'll know it, too.
In an instant I was off and behind the entry door, and Flora was up and at work. Just then the old lady came in as softly as possible, and stood and surveyed the room all round. I could see her through the crack of the door, she actually seemed disappointed at not finding me there. "'What noise was that I heard, Flora? she said, speakin' as mild as if she was actilly afraid to wake the cat up.
If he don't do it, and I can tell you before hand he won't for they actilly hante got time here, to think of these things send your boys here into the great world. Sais you to the young Lawyer, 'Bob, sais you, "aim high." If you don't get to be Lord Chancellor, I shall never die in peace. I've set my heart on it. It's within your reach, if you are good for anything.
I don't allot, though, I would have taken in Slickville, for I actilly think I couldn't help waltzing with the galls, which would have put our folks into fits, or kept old Clay, clergymen like, to leave sinners behind me. I can't make out these puritan fellows, or evangelical boys, at all.
They mislead folks; they make 'em believe all the use of the assembly is to bark at councillors, judges, bankers, and such cattle, to keep 'em from eatin' up the crops; and it actilly costs more to feed them when they are watchin', than all the others could eat if they did break a fence and get in. Indeed some folks say they are the most breachy of the two, and ought to go to pound themselves.
I found out I hadn't been there arter all, so I ran all the way, right down as hard as I could clip; and, seein' some folks comin' out from onder the Fall, I pushed strait in, but the noise actilly stunned me, and the spray wet me through and through like a piece of sponged cloth; and the great pourin', bilin' flood, blinded me so I couldn't see a bit; and I hadn't gone far in, afore a cold, wet, clammy, dead hand, felt my face all over.
Whenever I find him dull, and can't cheer him up no how I can fix it, by talk, or fun, or sight seein' or nothin', I make him vexed, and that excites him, stirs him up with a pot stick, and is of great sarvice to him. I don't mean actilly makin' him wrathy in airnest, but jist rilin of him for his own good, by pokin' a mistake at him. I'll shew you, presently, how I do it." As soon as Mr.
Spry? 'Dull, says she, 'very dull; there's no markets now, things don't fetch nothin'. Thinks I, some folks hadn't ought to complain of markets, for they don't raise nothin' to sell, but I didn't say so; FOR POVERTY IS KEEN ENOUGH, WITHOUT SHARPENING ITS EDGE BY POKIN' FUN AT IT. 'Potatoes, says I, 'will fetch a good price this fall, for it's a short crop in a general way; how's your'n? 'Grand, says she, 'as complete as you ever seed; our tops were small and didn't look well; but we have the handsomest bottoms, it's generally allowed, in all our place; you never seed the best of them, they are actilly worth lookin' at. I vow I had to take a chaw of tobaccy to keep from snortin' right out, it sounded so queer like.
And oracle says, 'He takes his own eggs to market, den. He don't laugh at that, for wits never laugh at their own jokes; but the rest snicker till they actilly scream. "What wind are we going to have, Lewis?" Oracle stands up, carefully surveys the sky, and notices all the signs, and then looks wise, and answers in a way that there can be no mistake.
I actilly did think he had gone for it, and Steve went right thro' the winder on to the floor, with a holler noise, like a log o' wood thrown on to the deck of a vessel. 'Eugh! says he, and he cut himself with the broken glass quite ridikilous.
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