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Updated: June 25, 2025
But I sez, "I don't want any wooden prayers offered for me, Josiah Allen, and," sez I, "that seen shows jest how widders are imposed upon." "Well," sez he, "she no need to dickered with the priest for 'em if she hadn't wanted to."
He was in the Three Widders at Aldgate, in the saloon bar which is a place where you get a penn'orth of ale in a glass and pay twopence for it and, arter being told by the barmaid that she had got one monkey at 'ome, he got into conversation with another man wot was in there. He was a big man with a black moustache and a red face, and 'is fingers all smothered in di'mond rings.
The English won't allow it where they can help it, but it is still practised in way back regions, and Arvilly said that she believed that some American widders, who had had their property took from them by the family of the deceased and had their unborn children willed away from 'em by law, suffered enough sight more than they would if they had burnt themselves up with their relics; to say nothin' of widders bein' burnt up twice in America, first through their own fiery agony, and then seein' their children sot fire to by whiskey dealt to 'em by the will of the rulers of the land.
There's just three husbands among the fifteen women scrubbin' here now, and the rest of us is all old maids and widders. No wonder the men-folks die, or move away like Justin Peabody; a place with such a mess o' women-folks ain't healthy to live in, whatever Lobelia Brewster may say."
You've heerd o' that Society, Susan, haven't 'ee?" "No father, never." "What, never heerd o' the Shipwrecked Mariners' Society with its hundreds o' honorary agents all round the coast, who have done more to dry the tears o' orphans an' comfort widders' hearts than tongue can tell? Never heerd o' it, an' you a sailor's daughter?"
"It's against my principles to talk about women," snapped Toby, glaring at the man as if deeply insulted. Seeing the disappointment in the other's face, he softened a little: "'Specially about widders," he went so far as to explain. "You keep your shirt on, Elmer, and wait. And when it does come out, you'll be the most surprised man in town."
I always thought, up to three days ago, that the names of Veller and gammon could never come into contract, Sammy, never. 'Always exceptin' the case of a widder, of course, said Sam. 'Widders, Sammy, replied Mr. Weller, slightly changing colour. 'Widders are 'ceptions to ev'ry rule. I have heerd how many ordinary women one widder's equal to in pint o' comin' over you.
Now Vesty, even as stiddy as she is, she 's all'as gittin' the women folks crazy over some new patron for a apern, or some new resute for pudd'n' and pie. So," he added, "ef you sh'd come to me, intendin' to splice, all the advice 't I c'd give 'ud be, I don't know widders; poo! poo! hohum! Wal, wal try widders."
'Ho indeed, mum! ho indeed! and would you be pleased to repeat what you're a-talkin' of behind ladies' backs. 'Mrs Trumbly! the bishop, woman! 'No more a woman than yourself, mum; and beggin' his lordship's parding, I 'opes as he'll tell widders as ain't bin mothers not to poke their stuck-up noses into what they knows nothing of.
Just as Sam had finished his missive his father appeared on the scene, and he was invited by the dutiful son to listen to what he had written. Tony heard it through, punctuating it during the process with a running commentary and much advice on marriage in general and "widders" in particular. It was here, too, that Tony, with the laudable intention of helping Mr.
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