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Updated: June 25, 2025
I pick up a ship in my right ban', an' throw it, with all the sailors in it, over a hill! When I look at the sun, it goes out, skeered to death! I've made more widders an' orphans than any other ten thousan' men that ever lived. 'Pears to me them wuz the pow'fullest boasters that ever wuz born. Why, what they said wuz mostly lies.
"Lord bless you, yes! and a very good husband I had, poor man! But he's dead these many years; and if you had not taken me, I must have gone to the workhus." "He is dead! Wasn't it very hard to live after that, Sarah?" "The Lord strengthens the hearts of widders!" observed Sarah, sanctimoniously. "Did you marry your brother, Sarah?" said Fanny, playing with the corner of her apron.
"Ef ther's eny who needs er double po'tion hits ther widders an' orphans," said a policeman gently, pushing a little woman in black before the Mayor's desk. "Whose widow are you?" asked the Mayor. "Was your husband killed in the riots? resisting arrest, I suppose."
It'll be like fire to tow; there'll be men killed men that I've known ever since they were boys: men killed, and women made widders. Tom, I've seen enough of war to last me." "I know," said Tom. None the less, he found a telegraph blank and began to write the message. There had been shots fired in the night, in a sally on the inclined railway, and one of them had scored his arm.
"Well, gals is hity-tity, and widders is kinder overrulin' and upsettin'. But old maids is thankful and willin' to please." So Easy When it is Explained A woman riding in a Philadelphia trolley-car said to the conductor: "Can you tell me, please, on what trolley-cars I can use these exchange slips? They mix me up somewhat." "They really shouldn't, madam," said the polite conductor.
"Would you believe it, there was one whaler put in here, and what does he do but go and invite a lot o' free blacks aboard to have a blow-out; and no sooner did he get them down into the hold then he shut down the hatches, sailed away, and sold 'em every one." "Ah! morther, couldn't I burst?" groaned Phil; "an' ov coorse they left a lot o' fatherless children and widders behind 'em."
"It makes me mad as a March hare to hear men go on as though all they'd got to do was to throw down their handkerchers to a woman, and, no matter who, she'd spring and run to pick it up. It is always 'Who will I marry? and not 'Who will marry me?" "Why, there is twice the number of widders that there is of widderers here at the P'int.
But it wuz no use; the new Brellar didn't take, and Sally sed she thort I "needn't cum agin !" I hev bin many wheres, and seen sum few in this erthly Tavernknuckle, but ov all the solum hours I ever speeriunsed the 1 ockepied in going hum that partickler nite frum the Widders was the most solumm. I'd a mind to throw awa that Brellar more'n onct as I went along.
So I went on his sobbin' advice to Senator E., and he wuz huffy and didn't want to do 'em and said so. And said his wife had thirteen children, and wimmen instead of votin' ort to go and do likewise. And I told him it wouldn't look well in onmarried wimmen and widders, and if they should foller her example folks would talk. And he said, "They ort to marry."
"Waal, he didn't git no more; an' after the furnitoor an' the books, his cloze begun to go. "Then I begun to be afeard he didn't have nothin' to eat, an' oncet in a while I'd kerry him up a mess o' vittles; but it allers seemed drefful hard for him to take 'em, an' fin'ly he told me not to do so no more, an' said suthin' to himself about devourin' widders.
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