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Updated: May 16, 2025
Sez Josiah, "I didn't know that Religion had to set down." "Sinners have to set," sez the man. Sez Josiah, "We hain't sinners." But I hunched him and sez, "Pay your fee and go on." So after a deep sithe he produced his old leather wallet and fished up ten cents out of its depths, and we proceeded on.
And when he got clost to the spring, Sam heard a sithe, and he looked back, and there the old gentleman wuz a settin' up a leanin' his head on his elbo and he sez, in a sort of a sad way, not mad, but melanecolly, `You hadn't ort to don it, Sam. You hadn't ort to. I'm in now for another hundred years." I told Josiah I didn't believe that.
I never shall be any younger. You can't dispute that." "No," sez I; "I don't spoze you will, in this spear." "Wall, I am bound to go out in a gondola, I am bound to be a gondolier before I die. So you may as well make up your mind first as last, and the sooner I go, the younger I shall go. Hain't that so?" With a deep sithe I answered, "I spoze so."
And he misused her in such a way, that she never got over the horror of what befell her when she come to, to find herself at the mercy of a brute in a man's shape. She went into a melancholy madness, and wus sent to the asylum. Of course they couldn't have wimmen in such places to take care of wimmen," says she bitterly. I sithed a long and mournful sithe, and sot silent agin for quite a spell.
And I gin a deep, happy sithe after I shot the door behind her, and I sez to Josiah I do hope that's the very last errent we will have to carry to Washington, D.C., for the Jonesvillians. "Yes," says he, "an' I guess I will get a fresh pail of water and hang on the tea kettle for you." "And," I says, "it's pretty early for supper, but I'll start it, for I do feel kinder gone to the stomach.
One Sunday, Elder Minkley preached an eloquent sermon describing the glories of the New Jerusalem, and Josiah said goin' home that from Serenus' tell, the elder had gin a crackin' good description of Coney Island. I groaned aloud. And he sez, "You may groan and sithe all you're a minter; I shall see that magnificent place before I die." "Well," sez I coldly, "I don't want to talk about it Sunday.
But it is fulle long, sithe that ony man durste neyhe to the tour; for it is alle deserte and fulle of dragouns and grete serpentes, and fulle of dyverse venymouse bestes alle abouten.
But I hearn him gin a sort of gaspin' sithe as he looked, and Blandina I believe forgot for a few minutes her passionate though chaste, overrulin' passion. As magnificent as the hull of St. Louis Exposition is, it naterally has one spot handsomer than the rest, a particular beauty spot as you may say. Why every house has it.
And this night it wuz so cool that a good woollen blanket and bedspread wuz none too much for comfort. And it wuz with a sithe of contentment that I lay down on my peaceful goose-feather pillow, and drawed the blankets up over my weary frame and sunk to sleep. I had been to sleep I know not how long when a angry, excited voice wakened me. It said, "Lay down, can't you!"
And I sez to myself mildly, as I sot there, "Is it that men and wimmen lose their senses, or is there a sacredness in the strains of that fiddle, that makes immodesty modest, indecency decent, and immorality moral?" And agin I sithe heavy and gin 3 deep groans. And I see Josiah gin in. All the sound reasons weighed as nothin' with him, but 2 or 3 groans, and a few sithes settled the matter.
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