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When Serenus Gowdey got back last fall from Brooklyn, where his twin brother, Sylvester, lives, he couldn't talk about anything but Coney Island. He slighted religion, stopped runnin' down relations, politics wuz left in the lurch, and cows, hens, and crops, wuz to him as if they wuzn't. He acted crazy as a loon about that Island.
Their first question when they land is, 'Where is Coney Island? Lead me to it!" "Oh shaw!" sez I. "Well, it is so, and why should such droves of folks go there if it hain't worth it? Serenus sez and can prove, that a million folks go there in one day sometimes, and hundreds of thousands most every day." Sez I solemnly, "Do you remember the him, 'Broad is the road that leads, you know where.
Why, from Serenus' talk that I hearn onwillingly about toboggan slides, merry-go-rounds, swings, immoral railways, skatin' rinks, diving girls, loops de loops, and bumps de bumps, trips to the moon and trashy shows of all kinds I got the idee there wuzn't nothin' there God had made, only the Ocean and the little incubator babies, though them two shows wuzn't what you might call similar and the same size.
He knew that it was not to the great Galenus, but to the wealthy Serenus Samonicus, that she had spoken; for the physician's noble and thoughtful features were familiar to him from medals, statues, and busts. He had seen Samonicus, too, at Antioch, and held his medical lore, as expressed in verse, very cheap. How worthless would this man's help be!
One Sunday, Elder Minkley preached an eloquent sermon describing the glories of the New Jerusalem, and Josiah said goin' home that from Serenus' tell, the elder had gin a crackin' good description of Coney Island. I groaned aloud. And he sez, "You may groan and sithe all you're a minter; I shall see that magnificent place before I die." "Well," sez I coldly, "I don't want to talk about it Sunday.
I pinted out the metafor to Josiah. "Isle of Happiness?" he sez, sort o' dreamy like. "That's right. Serenus sez its everywhere, all over the place." "What place?" sez I, suspicion darkenin' my foretop. "Why, Coney Island," sez he, "that's the only Isle of Happiness I ever hearn tell on." I gin him a look.
Still, with Serenus on one side praisin' up Coney, and Whitfield on the other praisin' up his islands, I got so dead tired of 'em that I wished there wuzn't a single island on the hull face of the earth. Yes, extreme weariness had got me so low down as that. One evenin', Serenus had been there and talked three hours stiddy, describin' the charms and attractions of his island.
They had been into all the little art and bookstores, full of pictures and needle work, shells, painted stuns, books, and the thousand and one souvenirs of all kinds of the Thousand Islands. When Josiah come in he said he had interviewed ten or a dozen men about Coney Island all on 'em had been there I wuz discouraged, I thought I might jest as well let him loose with Serenus.
It come straight, that Serenus only stayed there nights and to a early breakfast, but spent his hull durin' time to Coney Island, and he a twin too. She said Sylvester felt so hurt she wuz afraid it would make a lastin' hardness.
Among his near kindred, Serenus was one, a gentleman of considerable character in the sacred profession; and after he had consulted with his father, who was a merchant of great esteem and experience, he also thought fit to seek a word of advice from the divine.
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