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Updated: June 18, 2025
"Well, and what have 'e seen?" asked the senior church-warden not Cheeseman, who was only the junior, and had neither been at church nor on the headland but Farmer Graves, the tenant of the Glebe and of Up-farm, the Admiral's best holding; "what have 'e seen, good people all, to leave parson to prache to hisself a'most a sarmon as he's hathn't prached for five year, to my knowledge?
"While I was a-turnin' ober in my min' de subjec' ob dis sarmon, dere come ter me a bit ob Scripter wot I heerd at a big preachin' an' baptizin' at Kyarter's Mills, 'bout ten year' ago.
There, now, that's the work as the judge has cut out for me, as well as I can make out his meaning from his hard words and crabbed hand; and I no more fit to do it nor I am to write a sarmon or to build a ship; and if that aint enough, to bother a man's brains I don't know what is, that's all." "But it is no part of your duty as overseer to act as his librarian," said Ishmael.
"Wall," said the landlord, fetching a long breath, "that's a purty long sarmon for a chap that rips a little now and then. He wanted to last Sunday, but I stopped him just as he was goin' out of the door with four heads strung on a string, for all the airth like a string of inions."
"On the hull," said he, "I liked your sarmon tolerable well, Brother Pendlam; but it warn't one o' your best; and if anybody else had preached it, I should have thought it contained a little dangerous doctrine." Pendlam blushed. This compliment did not please him quite so well. But before he could shape a reply, quite an old woman seized his hand and kissed it. "God bless you for those words!
To this the countryman prepared to reply, first, by two or three additional shrugs; secondly, by raising his right elbow, and pulling up all that remained of the collar of his tattered cothamore, or great coat, after which he gave a hem. "Have you no tongue, my good fellow?" A shrug "hem why, sir, but that was a great sarmon you praiched on last Sunda', plaise you honor.
The sleeves of their shirts looked like a whole web of cloth jest sewed up together; and them sleeves'd git full o' wind, and that red ribbon a-flyin' O my la! "There was lots o' leetle boys of 'em that kem only in their shirt-tails. There was cracks between the logs that a dog could jump through, and them leetle fellers 'd git 'em a crack and grin in at us all through the sarmon.
In such a battered condition was it left that the parish Registers tell us that no baptism nor "sarmon" took place within its walls for a year . But a marriage took place, the persons wedded being Scots, who, we learn from the same authority, "would pay nothing to the Church." In the church is buried Sir Adam de Athol, Lord of Jesmond, and Mary, his wife.
"Now, my dear brev'ren ob dis congregation," he said, "I want you to understan' dat dar's nuffin in dis yer sarmon wot you've jus' heerd ter make you think yousefs angels.
What's th' use o' a gospel wi'out law? No more use nor a chip i' porritch. Dun yo' remember that sarmon yo' once preached fro' "Jacob have I luved, but Esau have I hated"? It wur a grand un, and Owd Harry o' th' Brig went straight aat o' th' chapel to th' George and Dragon and geet drunk, 'cose, as he said, he mud as well ged drunk if he wor baan to be damned, as be damned for naught.
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