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Updated: May 9, 2025
He bowed, and turned sharply to depart. "Stay!" I cried, and rooted him there by the imperative note of my command. Fra Gervasio was more than right when he said that mine was not a nature for the cloister. In that moment I might have realized it to the full by the readiness with which the thought of battle occurred to me, and more by the anticipatory glow that warmed me at the very thought of it.
"Yes Fra Gervasio is his name," replied the priest. "Where is he now?" I asked. "I think he is here." In that moment I caught the sound of approaching steps. The door opened, and before me stood the tall figure of my best friend, his eyes all eagerness, his pale face flushed with joyous excitement. I smiled my welcome. "Agostino!
Consider the manner in which that brigand met his death." "But... but..." I stammered. And then, quite suddenly, I stopped short, and listened. "Hark, Fra Gervasio! Do you not hear it?" "Hear it? Hear what?" "The music the angelic melodies! And you can say that this place is a foul imposture; this holy image an impious fraud! And you a priest! Listen!
But she stared wistfully. "Never think it, Agostino," she besought me. "You know not what it may import." And then she turned to Fra Gervasio. "Who was this mendicant?" she asked. He had by now recovered from his erstwhile confusion. But he was still pale, and I observed that his hand trembled. "He must have been one of the two little brothers of St.
"I do not quarrel with Rinolfos. I chastise them when they are insolent or displease me. This one did both." He halted before me, erect and very stern indeed almost threatening. And I began to grow afraid; for, after all, I had a kindness for Gervasio, and I would not willingly engage in a quarrel with him. Yet here I was determined to carry through this thing as I had begun it.
I turned away and went slowly along the gallery to the end; and yet I had a feeling that those eyes were following me, and, indeed, casting a swift glance over my shoulder ere I went indoors, I saw that this was so. That evening at supper I chanced to mention the matter to Fra Gervasio.
At the very thought my pulses would quicken, and a sweetness of anticipation would invade my soul, to be clouded at moments by an indefinable dread. And thus we came to Pagliano in that month of May, when the lilac was in bloom, as I have said, and after Fra Gervasio had left us, to return to his convent at Piacenza.
Augustine, that mighty theologian after whom I had been named, and whose works after those concerning St. Francis exerted a great influence upon me in those early days. Thus did I grow in grace until Fra Gervasio, who watched me narrowly and anxiously, seemed more at ease, setting aside the doubts that earlier had tormented him lest I should be forced upon a life for which I had no vocation.
It was written that she should come and tear the foolish bandage from my eyes, allowing me to see for myself that, as Fra Gervasio had opined, my vocation was neither for hermitage nor cloister; that what called me was the world; and that in the world must I find salvation since I was needed for the world's work. And none but she could have done that.
I had confessed to Fra Gervasio, and he had bidden me do penance first, but the penance had never been imposed. I was imposing it now. All my life should I impose it thus. Yet, ere it was consummated I might come to die; and the thought appalled me, for I must not die in sin.
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