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Updated: May 25, 2025
"Well, Barzilla," asked Captain Sol, "what's the newest craze over to the hotel?" "The newest," said Wingate, with a grin, "is automobiles." "Automobiles? Why, I thought 'twas baseball." "Baseball was last summer. We had a championship team then. Yes, sir, we won out, though for a spell it looked pretty dubious. But baseball's an old story. We've had football since, and now " "Wait a minute!
The Captain shook his head. "I may not be here then, Barzilla," he observed. "May not be here? What do you mean by that?" "I mean that I don't know exactly where I shall be. I shan't be depot master, anyway." "Shan't be depot master? YOU won't? Why, what on airth " "I sent in my resignation four days ago.
Gunnin' was all right except for one thing that is, that there wa'n't none wuth mentionin'. "'Ducks are scurser round here than Democrats in a Vermont town-meetin', growled the Cap'n. 'And as for geese! How long has it been since you see a goose, Barzilla? "'Land knows! says I. 'I can remember as fur back as the fust time Washy Sparrow left off workin', but I can't "Brown told us to shut up.
Strong had become superannuated and childish, or that the English Faction had got behind his chair of government and under the table of the counsel-board, and in the hollow panels of his audience chamber, and completely bewitched our political Barzilla. I suspected that gang of Jesuits, the Essex Junto, had put out his eyes, and was leading him into danger and disgrace.
The lot fell upon Owen Coffin, the captain's nephew. He did not repine. He expressed his willingness to abide by the decision. No man desired to be his executioner. They cast lots, as before, to determine who should kill him, and the lot fell upon Charles Ramsdale. By him Coffin was shot. Thus they eked out a miserable existence until the 11th of February, when Barzilla Ray died.
"Ah, ha!" crowed Captain Bailey, "here comes the heart confessions. Want to look out for these old bachelors, Sol. Fire away, Barzilla; let us know the worst." "I took a fancy to her, in a way. She got in the habit of tellin' me her troubles and secrets, me bein' old enough to be her dad " "Aw, yes!" this from Stitt, the irrepressible. "That's an old gag. We know "
"How you goin' to order that Grand Panjandrum around?" he says. "Great land of Goshen! I'd as soon think of telling the Pope of Rome to empty a pail of swill as I would him. Why don't he stay to home and be a tailor's sign or something? Not prance around here with his high-toned airs. I'm glad you've got him, Barzilla, and not me." Well, most of that was plain jealousy, so I didn't contradict.
And when I was goin' through the things up attic at my daughter's last Friday, seein' what I could find for the rummage sale at the church, I come across my old writin' desk, and in it was this very piece of paper with the address on it just as I wrote it down. And me startin' for New York in three days! Barzilla, I swan to man, I believe something SENT me to that attic.
Barzilla Small, Luther's fond parent, also professed intense dislike for the man now filling his son's position in the bank. "I don't know how 'tis," affirmed Barzilla, "but the fust time I see that young upstart I says to myself: 'Young feller, you ain't my kind. This remark being repeated to Captain Sam, the latter observed: 'That's gospel truth and thank the Lord for it."
So I told him to stay where he was, and I went off and found Peter T. You'd ought to seen Peter stare when we hove in sight of the candidate. "Thunder!" says he. "Is this Exhibit One, Barzilla? Where'd you pick up the Chinese giant?" I done the polite, mentioning Brown's name, hesitating on t'other chap's. "Er-Jones," says the human lighthouse. "Er-yes; Jones." "Glad to meet you, Mr.
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