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"He ain't fond o' dumb animals, then," ses the conjurer. Then he put his 'and on his 'art and bowed. "Gentlemen all," he ses. "'Aving given you this specimen of wot I can do, I beg to give notice that with the landlord's kind permission I shall give my celebrated conjuring entertainment in the tap-room this evening at seven o'clock; ad mission, three-pence each."
"Summer-time it was, and I likes to take my little siesta after lunch just like the Dons theirselves, y' know and I'm 'aving me siesta next day after lunch when something woke me up. There's a shelf of books on the wall o' my room chart-books and the like and when all at once I see them pilin' down on top of me I say to myself: 'Somethin's 'appened. And so it 'ad.
"I'd a rotten day," he was sayin', "but one good point about this Am. Col. job an' the only one I see is that you get the night in bed wi' your breeches off." 'But if you'd only 'eard 'im when he found he was for the road again at once an' would spend 'is night in the rain an' dark instead of in bed well, I couldn't repeat 'is language, not 'aving the talent to 'is extent.
"Th' ain't no row as I can see," said the bar-keeper, "these gents is 'aving a quiet drink w'en 'ees nibs there pips in an' calls fer a cop." "This is one of our engineers," explained the foreman, "and I was on the way to the station with him when these strikers took him away."
What wi' wadin' to the knees in the trench mud, getting soaked through wi' rain, not 'aving a decent meal all day, crawlin' about in mud an' muck, an' gettin' chivvied an' chased all over the landscape wi' shells an' shrapnel an' machine-guns an' rifles, I've just about 'ad enough o' this King an' Country game. The Signaller paused a moment.
Glance through them any time you have a suspicion you may be a chump, and you'll have the comfort of knowing that there are others. What were you saying about being married?" "Mr. Bevan and I was 'aving a talk about 'im being blarzy, miss." "Are you blarzy, George?" "So Mac says." "And why is he blarzy, miss?" demanded Mac rhetorically. "Don't ask me," said Billie. "It's not my fault."
He called three times, and then, with a sinking sensation in 'is stummick, 'e went up on deck and I follered 'im. The boy was nowhere to be seen. All we saw was the ship's cat 'aving a wash and brush-up afore going ashore, and the skipper standing aft talking to the owner. We never saw that boy ag'in. He never turned up for 'is box, and 'e didn't show up to draw 'is pay.
Bob Pretty joined one arternoon on the quiet, and more than one of 'em talked of 'aving their money back, but, arter Smith 'ad explained as 'ow he would see fair play, they thought better of it. "He'll 'ave the same chance as all of you," he ses. "No more and no less." "I'd feel more easy in my mind, though, if'e wasn't in it," ses Bill Chambers, staring at Bob.
"Well, sir," said the soldier diffidently, "it's like this, sir, my pal Jarsper and me, 'aving heard of of your altered circumstances, sir, wishes it to be understood as once your pals, ever your pals, come shine, come rain.
That parrot of yours, Marion, had escaped once again from its cage and was 'aving an argument with that cat which Captain Bassett has given to you. 'Oh! I hope that Alexander 'as not hurt poor Polly, of whom I am very fond, she has said. 'The affair did not come to blows, has said Mr 'Enderson. 'You may trust that bird to take care of himself, my dear.
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