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Updated: June 9, 2025
"A crust of bread is what I crave!" he repeated. "A single crust, and a little water!" "Here's some water, drink this!" Uggug bellowed, emptying a jug of water over his head. "Well done, my boy!" cried the Vice-Warden. "That's the way to settle such folk!" "Clever boy!", the Wardeness chimed in. "Hasn't he good spirits?"
But there was no room for doubt: there was the arrow, right in the centre of the bull's-eye! "The lake is close by," continued the Vice-warden. "Bring his Highness' fishing-rod!" And Uggug most unwillingly held the rod, and dangled the fly over the water. "A beetle on your arm!" cried my Lady, pinching the poor Baron's arm worse than if ten lobsters had seized it at once.
"He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four That stood beside his bed: He looked again, and found it was A Bear without a Head. 'Poor thing, he said, 'poor silly thing! It's waiting to be fed!" "No, I ca'n't let you out again!" he said, before the children could speak. "The Vice-warden gave it me, he did, for letting you out last time! So be off with you!"
The next he drew towards him proved to be the seal of the Vice-Warden of the Grey Friars of Cambridge, a pointed one used about the year 1244, which to himself he declared, in heraldic language, to bear the device of "a cross raguly debruised by a spear, and a crown of thorns in bend dexter, and a sponge on a staff in bend sinister, between two threefold flagella in base" surely a formidable array of the instruments used in the Passion.
"Not another Professor!" the poor old man exclaimed in horror. "No! Certainly not!" the Vice-Warden eagerly explained. "Merely an Emperor, you understand." "An Emperor!" cried the astonished Professor, holding his head between his hands, as if he expected it to come to pieces with the shock. "What will the Warden " "Why, the Warden will most likely be the new Emperor!" my Lady explained.
It's so interesting!" The Vice-Warden and the Chancellor interchanged a wink or two. "Let her conspire to her heart's content!" the cunning Chancellor whispered. "It'll do no harm!" "And when will the Conspiracy "
And the sulky boy was violently shoved forwards, to walk at the Baron's side. "Could your Highness tell me," the Baron cautiously began, "how much seven times nine would come to?" "Turn to the left!" cried the Vice-Warden, hastily stepping forwards to show the way -so hastily, that he ran against his unfortunate guest, who fell heavily on his face.
"It's only the Gardener!" the Vice-Warden replied in an encouraging tone. "Quite harmless, I assure you. Hark, he's singing! Its his favorite amusement." And once more those shrill discordant tones rang out: "He thought he saw a Banker's Clerk Descending from the bus: He looked again, and found it was A Hippopotamus: 'If this should stay to dine, he said, 'There won't be mutch for us!"
Are you Emperor, darling?" "Not yet, dear," the Vice-Warden replied. "It won't do to let this paper be seen, just at present. All in good time." My Lady nodded, and read on. "'Item, that we will be kind to the poor. Why, that's omitted altogether!" "Course it is!" said her husband. "We're not going to bother about the wretches!" "Good," said my Lady, with emphasis, and read on again.
"So fond of Natural History as he is, dear boy!" said the doting mother. "Now do tell us, Baron, what you think of him!" "To be perfectly candid, said the cautious Baron, "I would like a little more evidence. I think you mentioned his skill in " "Music?" said the Vice-Warden. "Why, he's simply a prodigy! You shall hear him play the piano? And he walked to the window. "Ug I mean my boy!
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