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Updated: June 9, 2025
"And they do say," the Chancellor went on sheepishly looking much more like a convicted thief than an Officer of State, "that a change of Government, by the abolition of the Sub-Warden -I mean," he hastily added, on seeing the Warden's look of astonishment, "the abolition of the office of Sub-Warden, and giving the present holder the right to act as Vice-Warden whenever the Warden is absent would appease all this seedling discontent I mean," he added, glancing at a paper he held in his hand, "all this seething discontent!"
The Vice-Warden shut and bolted the door. "Off with the disguises!" he panted. "There's not a moment to lose. He's sure to fetch the Professor, and we couldn't take him in, you know!"
"Where's the razor?" The Vice-Warden meanwhile had got hold of Uggug, and was belabouring him with his umbrella. "Who left this loose nail in the floor?" he shouted, "Hammer it in, I say! Hammer it in!" Blow after blow fell on the writhing Uggug, till he dropped howling to the floor. Then his father turned to the 'shaving' scene which was being enacted, and roared with laughter.
"In the Library, Madam." "And what did you say his name was?" said the Vice-Warden. The Professor referred to a card he held in his hand. "His Adiposity the Baron Doppelgeist." "Why does he come with such a funny name?" said my Lady. "He couldn't well change it on the journey," the Professor meekly replied, "because of the luggage."
The Baron could not help admitting to himself that it was being magnificently played: but he tried in vain to get a glimpse of the youthful performer. Every time he had nearly succeeded in catching sight of him, either the Vice-Warden or his wife was sure to get in the way, pointing out some new place on the map, and deafening him with some new name.
I wanted the Vice-Warden to question him, but, most unluckily, he and my Lady were always out walking when the Jester came round. Yes, the Warden's supposed to be dead!" And more tears trickled down the old man's cheeks. "But what is the new Money-Act?" The Professor brightened up again. "The Emperor started the thing," he said.
"May I have the honour of conducting your Adiposity to the guest-chamber?" "Certainly, certainly!" the Baron eagerly assented. "It would never do to keep dinner waiting!" And he almost trotted out of the room after the Vice-Warden. He was back again so speedily that the Vice-warden had barely time to explain to my Lady that her remark about "a love for pastry" was "unfortunate.
"On second thoughts, don't shout," the Professor replied. "The Vice-Warden might hear you. He's getting awfully strict!" This reminded the poor children of all the troubles, about which they had come to their old friend. Bruno sat down on the floor and began crying. "He is so cruel!" he sobbed. "And he lets Uggug take away all my toys! And such horrid meals!"
Uggug looked very sulky as he received the bow and arrow, and prepared to shoot. Just as the arrow left the bow, the Vice-Warden trod heavily on the toe of the Baron, who yelled with the pain. "Ten thousand pardons! "he exclaimed. "I stepped back in my excitement. See! It is a bull's-eye!" The Baron gazed in astonishment. "He held the bow so awkwardly, it seemed impossible!" he muttered.
Throwing away the spade, he broke into a frantic jig, snapping his fingers, and repeating, again and again, "There won't be much for us! There won't be much for us!" Once more the Baron looked slightly offended, but the Vice-Warden hastily explained that the song had no allusion to him, and in fact had no meaning at all. "You didn't mean anything by it, now did you?"
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