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Updated: June 29, 2025
"'Ods my life!" continues poor Garrick, almost in tears; "I have loaned Foote upwards of two thousand pounds. And last year, as your Lordship remembers, took charge of his theatre when his leg was cut off. 'Pon my soul, I cannot account for his ingratitude." "'Tis not Foote," says Carlisle, biting his lip; "I know Foote's mark."
Come up, my bully, and I'll show you a thing." "Here's for you, cully." One of the company thrust upon Harry a sword. "Oh, by your leave," Harry waved it oft "I don't fight a drunken man." "Drunk!" the little man screamed. "Ods blades, there's a naughty way to mock a gentleman. I'll school you, bully; fou or fasting, I'll school you. What, you'll not lug out, like a bonny lad should?
Look you: I have had experience in these matters; and, I think, the moment a woman is wedded some terrible revolution happens in her system; all her former good qualities vanish, /hey presto/! like eggs out of a conjuror's box; 'tis true they appear on t' other side of the box, the side turned to other people, but for the poor husband they are gone forever. Ods fish, Morton, go to!
It was during this period of revived affection that I received the following letter from my uncle: I thank thee for thy long letter, my dear boy; I read it over three times with great delight. Ods fish, Morton, you are a sad Pickle, I fear, and seem to know all the ways of the town as well as your old uncle did some thirty years ago!
I was in truth in the very article of peril; I was blown; my breath was near gone, when at the critical moment up comes a gallant youth subvenisti homini jam perdito and with dexterous hand stays the enemy in his course." "But what was it all about? Do you know the man?" "Ods my life! 'twas a complete stranger, a man, I should guess, of hasty passions and tetchy temper.
He led us accordingly into Druid's Walk, overarched with elms, and dark as the shades, our gentlemen singing, "'Ods! Lovers will contrive," in chorus, the ladies exclaiming and drawing together. Then I felt a soft, restraining hold on my arm, and fell back instinctively, vibrating to the touch. "Could you not see that I have been trying to get a word with you for ever so long?"
"Pish, how the pillow frets one!" "Is it too high?" said my mother. "No," said my uncle, faintly, "no no the discomfort is not in the pillow, after all: 'tis a fine day; is it not?" "Very!" said my mother; "I wish you could go out." My uncle did not answer: there was a pause. "Ods fish, Madam, are those carriage wheels?" "No, Sir William but "
Faith now, I never could believe that Heaven was so partial to cowards; nor can I think, Morton, that Salvation is like a soldier's muster-roll, and that we may play the devil between hours, so that, at the last moment, we whip in, and answer to our names. Ods fish, Morton, I could tell thee a tale of that; but 'tis a long one, and we have not time now.
Ods fish, boy, I will go to the countess myself, if you will just let Nicholls finish my wig, never attend the ladies /en deshabille/, always, with them, take care of your person most, when you most want to display your mind;" and my uncle ringing a little silver bell on his dressing-table, the sound immediately brought Nicholls to his toilet.
"Especially if one has a genius for it, eh, sir?" said I. "Besides, too," said my uncle, ironically, "you have had the Abbe's instructions." "Ay, and if the priests would communicate to their pupils their experience in frailty, as well as in virtue, how wise they would make us!" "Ods fish! Morton, you are quite oracular. How got you that fancy of priests? by observation in life already?"
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