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Updated: June 29, 2025
Look you: I have had experience in these matters; and, I think, the moment a woman is wedded some terrible revolution happens in her system; all her former good qualities vanish, hey presto! like eggs out of a conjuror's box; 'tis true they appear on t' other side of the box, the side turned to other people, but for the poor husband they are gone forever. Ods fish, Morton, go to!
Bowse, whose spirits weariness and anxiety had much lowered, shook his head, and pointed to the stranger. "I wish I could say so, Colonel Gauntlett. There she is, as big as life; and, what is more, may be alongside of us any moment those on board her may desire." "Ods life, then we shall have to fight her after all," exclaimed the colonel, with animation.
"Hold, hold, good sir prithee wait a little the judge! Why, man, he hath no more sympathy with a jest than hath a dead corpse! come, and we will speak further. Ods body! I seem to be in evil case and all for an innocent and thoughtless pleasantry. I am a man of family; and my wife and little ones List to reason, good your worship: what wouldst thou of me?"
And then too, you have read my play; turned Horace's Satires into a lampoon upon the boys at school; been regularly to assizes during the vacation; attended the county balls, and been a most premature male coquette with the ladies. Ods fish, boy! it is quite curious to see how the young sparks of the present day get on with their lovemaking."
Ods fish, and a holier day than my old house has known since its former proprietor, Sir Hugo, of valorous memory, demolished the nunnery, of which some remains yet stand on yonder eminence. Morton, my man of might, the thing is done; the court is purified; the wicked one is departed. Look here, and be as happy as I am at our release;" and he threw me a note in Montreuil's writing:
Ods bobs, when I was a young Fellow, I wou'd not let the young Wenches look pale and wan but would rouse 'em, and touse 'em, and blowze 'em, till I put a colour in their Cheeks, like an Apple John, affacks Nay, I can make a shift still, and Pupsey shall not be jealous. Enter Susan, Sir Feeble whispers her, she goes out. Let. Indeed, not I; Sir. I shall be all Obedience. Sir Cau.
Very well, very well, now the Posset; and then ods bobs, and then Dia. And then we'll have t'other Dance. Sir Feeb.
Ods fish, now how I have got out of my story! Well, I did not go back to my room, Morton, till I had looked to the outside of the iron door, and seen that the plate was as firm as ever: so now you have the whole of the matter. Gerald went the next day, and I fear me much lest he should already be caught in some Jacobite trap. Write me thy advice on the subject.
He has been sent by the devil himself, I believe, to ruin this country. 'Ods, sir, that devil Lord Holland begot him. He is but one and twenty, but his detestable arts have saved North's neck from Burke and Wedderburn on two occasions this year." "And what has happened to-day?" I asked, smiling. The stranger smiled, too.
God warn us, I have no commission. I can tell you what I thought of Waverton and his tale. Did I believe it? Ods fish, I never remember believing Geoffrey. If he had to tell you two and two was four, he would pretend that his genius first discovered it. So I don't know what happened at Pontoise. Likely the old Colonel did mix him up in some plot which some other fellows smoked.
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